


Love and Complications

by TobytheWise



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reverse Verse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Daddy Kink, Demonic Possession, Demons, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hand & Finger Kink, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Magical Bond, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parabatai Bond, Protective Raphael, Raphael & Magnus Parabatai, Shadowhunter Raphael, Shared Dreams, So Many Rituals, Suicide, Warlock Simon Lewis, broken bonds, dream walking, horror imagery, meet ugly, reverse verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24271219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobytheWise/pseuds/TobytheWise
Summary: Simon should have known his ‘take no names’, ‘know no details’ business practice would come back to bite him in the ass. But he never thought his pain in the ass would be so literal.Raphael just wants to do his duty, take care of his parabatai, and dodge all other complications. But Simon’s a complication he can’t seem to shake.When Asmodeus turns up trouble in the Shadow World, Raphael and Simon, along with their respective friends, have to put their differences aside and work together to stop him from releasing a dangerous demon into the world in the name of love.First time feelings and danger lurk constantly in the back of their minds, but to their surprise, so does an unexpected connection. Will that connection grow to something more? Or are first impressions too great to overcome?
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 147
Kudos: 124
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miss_Shiva_Adler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Shiva_Adler/gifts).



> Welcome to another Saphael longfic :D These boys own my whole ass heart and I apologize for nothing.  
> This is written for Shiva who continually cheers on my Saphael love and for that I adore the fuck out of you. Shiva won this fic through Fandom Trumps Hate and he gave me a list of things he'd like and I *think* I squeezed pretty much all the things in here. *evil cackling* I hope you enjoy <3
> 
> I'll be updating every Tuesday :D

“Where in the fuck is my dumbass parabatai?” Raphael demands, stepping into the control center. He finishes strapping on his thigh holster before checking the inside of his jacket, making sure his throwing knives are all there and in place, readjusting the ones lining his belt. 

Caterina is there, her arms crossed over her chest. “There was a report of a lone shax demon on the sensors,” Caterina explains. Then she gestures at Raphael. “He said he was going to grab you on the way out.”

“Of course he did,” Raphael grumbles as he stalks up to the monitor, finding the demon’s last known location before heading out of the Institute. All afternoon he’s been feeling an unease under his skin, coming from his parabatai bond but now there’s something else. His thumb rubs over his right wrist where his parabatai mark lays dark against his skin. It tingles insistently, panic and pain coming from the bond he shares with Magnus. 

“That idiota,” Raphael murmurs to himself, pulling his stele from his pocket and activating every rune he can think of to help his feet carry him faster to his parabatai. Then he  _ runs _ . 

The streets of New York are his second home, he knows the ins and outs of them like he knows the back of his hand. Raphael moves towards the last known coordinates, following that invisible tether he has with Magnus. 

He passes mundanes left and right, annoyed when he has to dodge out of their way. Raphael runs until he’s on the outskirts of town, the annoyance of mundanes and traffic falling away. He steps in front of an old mansion, tilting his head as he looks it over. 

Raphael sighs before climbing over the fence surrounding the mansion grounds, looking around and making sure no one is around. Anticipation thrums just under his skin as he jumps down from the fence. If this place had been maintained, it would be beautiful. Instead it looks more suited for one of those horror movies Magnus seems to love so much. 

A bird flies overhead, letting out a caw as it goes. It shouldn’t affect him, but Raphael shivers nonetheless. He follows the gravel path up towards the house, the only other sound in the area is the crunch under his boots. His hand hovers over the dagger in his holster, prepared to pull it free if needed. 

His parabatai rune spikes once more with pain and Raphael throws caution to the wind, running full out towards the huge house in front of him. The windows are boarded up, the doors locked. But Raphael activates his strength rune, using the added strength to drop his shoulder and plow his way through the door. 

If his parabatai dies doing something stupid trying to prove his worth, Raphael is going to find a necromancer to bring him back just so he can kill Magnus himself. 

Catarina said the monitor showed a single shax demon. Looks like that information was wrong. 

Two shax demons crawl towards him, letting out an awful screech as they jump into the air towards him. Raphael is faster. He reaches for his belt, picking up a throwing knife in each of his hands. With a familiar flick of his wrists, his knives find their marks in the back of each demon’s throat. They burst into flames with a scream, nothing more than dust a moment later. 

Two more throwing knives are between his fingers before he even realizes what he’s doing, muscle memory taking over. All those grueling hours coming in handy once again. A shax demon comes towards him from each side and his hands go out from his sides, flinging the knives in opposite directions. 

With that, the room is clear of any more danger. 

Raphael moves, feeling the pull of his parabatai, knowing he’s somewhere in the house. He finds a winding staircase and takes them up two at a time. His heart is racing and his belly is quivering. He’s close. Can feel it in his bones. 

“Ouch! Fuck,” Raphael hears coming from down the hall. He comes to a door, finding it locked. He can hear two voices behind, one clearly in pain being Magnus and another he doesn’t recognize. 

Raphael pulls out his stele, using it to draw an unlock rune onto the door before pushing inside. The sight before him makes his stomach go cold in fear. Magnus is propped up against the wall, his ass on the ground and his legs stretched out in front of him. He’s clutching his arm, a pained look on his face. There’s someone crouched in front of him and Raphael sees red. 

The knife in his hand flings forward and Raphael knows it will sink into its mark. Only it doesn’t. Halfway through the air, the person crouching on the ground throws his left hand out, a wall going up between them and intercepting Raphael’s knife. 

The man begins waving his hands in front of Magnus, green magic leaving his fingers and weaving over Magnus’ arm. “What the fuck are you doing?” Raphael demands, stepping up to the shimmering wall, slamming a hand into it. It bounces back with a zap that only serves to piss Raphael off more. 

He pulls the seraph blade from his thigh holster, letting the blade light up before shoving it into the wall, desperation clouding his judgement. It bounces back just like his hand. He looks at Magnus, seeing him waving at Raphael but the wall makes it so Raphael can’t fucking  _ hear _ anything. Magnus could be telling him to calm down or telling him to hurry his ass up and save him. It’s the not knowing that’s killing Raphael and making his nerves fried with unease. 

A sound tickles his ear and Raphael turns, the blade up coming across his chest. It slides through another shax demon, making the thing scream as it dies. At least he can do  _ something _ right. 

Raphael closes his eyes, searching for his parabatai bond, sighing when he feels reassurance being sent his way. He puts the blade back into its place. There’s a tension pulling his chest tight as he waits. He hates how this fucking warlock’s put a barrier between them, hates how he thinks he knows better than Raphael. Well, fuck him. 

Raphael picks up a throwing knife from his jacket, twirling it between his fingers, gritting his teeth so hard his jaw begins to ache. The moment the wall shimmers into the ether, the knife leaves Raphael’s hand. 

“Fuck,” the warlock gasps out as the knife lodges itself into his right asscheek. Raphael smirks as Magnus gives him an unimpressed look. 

“Are you serious right now? This warlock just  _ healed _ me and this is how you repay him?”

Raphael shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest. “He put a wall up between us.”

“Because you came in here guns blazing, asshole,” the warlock hisses out, putting his sleeve over his hand in order to pull the knife out of his ass without burning himself. “Shadowhunter bullshit.”

“Raphael,” Magnus says, his voice going serious. “Apologize!”

“No.”

“Raphael!”

“Magnus!”

“Simon!” the warlock calls out, throwing the knife at Raphael’s feet. 

“What?” Raphael asks, looking at the warlock in confusion. 

The warlock shrugs. “You were yelling each other’s names. I felt left out so I threw mine out there too.”

Raphael blinks slowly, wondering if this warlock is actually serious right now. Magnus snorts in amusement. Great, now he has to deal with two of them.

“I think I like you, Simon,” Magnus says as he stands, dusting off his pants. 

Simon’s face breaks into a wide smile, so wide it shows off a dimple on each of his cheeks. Raphael scowls even harder. “Consider us even, Shadowhunter,” he says back. “I was hired to clean out this place and found you instead. Pretty sure murder brows over there,” Simon says, tossing his thumb towards Raphael, “killed the rest of the shax demons in here. My client will be most pleased. Maybe I can even talk him into a tip for getting it done so quickly.”

Raphael snorts, completely unsurprised. This warlock looks like someone who doesn’t take anything seriously. He’s dressed in a pair of converse, for Christ’s sake, and a graphic tee. 

“You’re just gonna take credit for Raphael’s work?”

Simon’s eyes widen, flicking between the two Shadowhunters. “And you’re just gonna keep on living? Not to mention the thanks I get for helping! Your fucking parabatai put a blade in my ass. And not in the fun way, might I add. I’m gonna be walking with a limp for at least a week.”

Raphael really shouldn’t smile at that. He really shouldn’t gain some sick sense of pride. But he does. 

“Fine,” Magnus says, reaching out his hand. Simon takes it. “We’re even.”

Simon turns towards him, snapping his fingers and producing a business card between his fingers which he carefully tucks into Raphael’s coat. “Just in case.”

“In case of what?” Raphael asks, his brows wrinkled in confusion. 

“You need a hand with something. Freelance warlock,” he tells them, gesturing towards himself. “I find all sorts of work in the most interesting places. Maybe you’ll need a date in the future, crabby pants. Now you have someone who’ll pretend to tolerate you.” Simon chuckles to himself as he opens a portal behind himself. He steps in a moment quicker than Raphael can get off the throwing knife which clatters to the ground right as the portal closes. Damn. 

“Hmm,” Magnus humms. “Interesting. Very interesting.”

“It’s not,” Raphael says right away, shaking his head and heading out the door. 

“We are  _ so _ talking about that!”

“Nothing to talk about!”

“Right. Nothing at all. Then why the hell are you blushing right now?”

Raphael turns to glare at Magnus. Then out of no where his hand strikes out, grabbing Magnus’ right wrist with his right hand. Their parabatai runes touch and Raphael sighs, his shoulders losing all their tension now that he knows his parabatai is okay and safe. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he murmurs under his breath before letting go and walking away. 

Magnus runs up to him, catching up easily and falling in step with Raphael. “Thanks for coming after me.”

“Always,” Raphael says right away. “But quit making me chase you, Magnus. I can’t have your back if I’m always chasing it.”

Magnus nods, his brows pinching. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I just figured it would be an easy in and out. That I could do it alone and show them--”

Raphael cuts him off. “Magnus, fuck them. You’re one of the best Shadowhunters I know. Quit trying to prove yourself to people who don’t matter. One of these days, if you keep taking stupid risks, you’re going to prove them  _ right _ .”

They walk in silence through the streets of New York, letting the cool night wash over them. They’re glamoured, dodging the few mundanes out in this area. “You’re right.”

Raphael turns, his jaw dropping open at the admission. “Holy shit,” he whispers. “I’m gonna mark this on my calendar back home. This moment has to be documented.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Magnus says back with a snort. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” he deadpans. 

“Whatever. I promise to keep you in the loop from now on.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Magnus reaches over, putting his arm over Raphael’s shoulders and side hugging him as they walk. Raphael, in turn, shoves Magnus away. 

Back at the Institute, they go their separate ways. Magnus goes to his room and Raphael heads for the Control Room. He goes to a computer and spends the next few hours researching everything he can about a warlock named Simon. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Have an early chapter :D My friendos birthday is tomorrow and I didn't want to double post so here ya go :D Enjoy purposely oblivious Simon getting himself into trouble.

Simon stretches out along the couch, running his fingers over the velvet, sighing as he closes his eyes. A groan leans his mouth as a body sits on his stomach, letting out a chuckle at his distress. 

“Don’t you have a boyfriend to bother instead of sitting on me?”

Clary shrugs, looking down at him with a wide smile. “He’s with his girlfriend.”

“Why do you always say it like that?” Simon whines, shoving his best friend off of himself and watching in delight as she falls onto her ass on the ground. She looks up at him with a pout but he goes back to staring up at the ceiling. “She’s your girlfriend too.”

Clary shrugs. “Like to keep people on their toes.”

Simon shakes his head, letting out an amused snort. “You’re weird.”

“So are you. It’s why we’re best friends.”

“Right. It has nothing to do with immortals sticking together.”

Clary pokes him. “Yeah okay, that helps.” Simon twirls his fingers towards the fridge in Clary’s room, using his magic to pull out a blood bag for Clary and a soda for himself. “Thanks,” she murmurs, pulling the stopper open and sucking it through the tube like a CapriSun. Simon really shouldn’t find that endearing. 

He taps the top of the soda a few times before popping it open and taking a sip. They drink in silence, comfortable to just enjoy each other’s presence. That’s what happens when you’ve known someone as long as they have. 

Luke walks in, taking in the sight of them and smiling. “Hey, guys,” he greets, raising his hand in a wave. 

“Hey, Luke. Nice to see you again.”

“I didn’t realize you were in town, Simon.”

Simon runs his hand through his hair, nodding. “Here for business.”

“Aren’t you always? I swear that’s the only time you visit us anymore,” Luke says, his smile teasing. 

“Yeah, Simon,” Clary adds with a whine, finishing off her blood bag. “You’re never around anymore. Too busy traveling the world and doing odd jobs. And!” she adds, pointing at Simon. “You still haven’t told me about your latest job.”

Luke grabs a chair from nearby, turning it around and sitting backwards, his arms leaning against the back of it. He looks expectantly at Simon and Simon sighs. Clary tosses her blood bag into the trash before coming back to sit by Simon on the couch, her vampire speed making the chore done in seconds. 

“It’s not a big deal,” he tells them seriously. “Just some older mundane who wanted his old estate cleared out. There was a nest of shax demons making the place their home. It was really easy money.”

“Then why in the hell do you have that limp?” Clary demands. 

Simon rolls his eyes as Luke snorts. “Busy night afterwards? Find someone to celebrate a job well done?”

“Oh my god,” Simon groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Not that kind of limp!”

Luke and Clary both laugh, the noise making Simon’s chest warm. He’s missed them in his travels and it’s no surprise he ends up here so often throughout the years. Clary was turned right around Simon’s twentieth birthday and they became fast friends who’ve only grown closer through the years. It’s easy to be best friends with someone who shares eternity with you, someone who won’t grow old. Simon puts on a smile, preparing to tell his story. 

“So everything was going fine. I went to the mansion and to my surprise, I wasn’t the only one there. I ran into a Shadowhunter.”

Clary and Luke both go still, their eyes going wide. “It’s fine. He was in over his head, trying to take on the entire nest on his own.”

Luke snorts. “Sounds like a good way to get killed. Don’t they usually hunt in pairs?”

“Oh, that’s the best part. As I was healing the first one, his parabatai showed up and stuck me in the ass.”

“What?”

“Yeah! He thanked me by throwing a knife into my ass cheek!”

Luke turns serious, his brows wrinkling. “You do realize that goes against the Accords, right? We could bring this up to Catarina. She seems like a Head that would have words about one of her people doing that.”

Simon shrugs. “Nah, it’s fine, Luke.”

“Oh my g- g- g- fuck,” Clary says, still unable to get the word god out, even after all this time. It never ceases to make Simon smile. “Holy shit. You should see your face right now! You’re not gonna tell on him because you have a stupid little crush!”

“I do not!”

“You do!”

Simon crosses his arms over his chest. “You take that back right now! I always said Shadowhunters were the only type of people I wouldn’t be attracted to!”

Clary’s mouth is open as Luke gives an amused chuckle. “Simon, I’m your best friend. I can read your face like a book. You’ve got that starry eyed expression you get when you catch feelings.”

Simon blows out a long breath before shoving at Clary’s face. It only makes her giggle even more. Why is she his best friend again? “Whatever. Only a dumbass would get a crush on a Shadowhunter. They’ve all got knives up their butts.”

“Yeah?” Luke asks, tilting his head, trying to hide his smile. “I hate to break this to you, Simon but uh, I’m pretty sure so do you.”

And that sets them both off again. Asshole vampires. 

Simon’s phone pings with a reminder and he quickly pulls it out, swiping the notification away. “Got another hot date? Maybe with one of those long blades?” Luke asks with a snort.

“No, no,” Clary pipes in, “this time he’d prefer one of those daggers they always have strapped to their boots. He needs a little break after all the action he got last night.”

“For fuck’s sake,” he murmurs to himself, standing up and running his hands over his bomber jacket. “You two are the absolute worst. I should spell all your blood to taste like garlic.”

“You know garlic doesn’t actually hurt us,” Clary says with a quirked brow. “And you love me far too much to do anything like that.”

That’s very true. But it doesn’t stop him from flicking his wrist and spelling Clary’s usual morning cup to stay cold tomorrow morning no matter how much she tries to microwave it. That’ll show her! 

Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, Simon digs around until he finds his current planner. He pulls it out, thankful for the little pocket dimension he was able to create there. Thank you Dungeons and Dragons for the idea of a bag of holding. He flips it open, looking at what he’s got scheduled today. 

“Anything interesting?” Luke asks. 

Simon shakes his head. “I’ve gotta take care of a regular.”

“Shady guy?” Simon shrugs without looking up. “You know,” Luke says carefully. “I really hate your stupid rule.” Simon shrugs again. “Simon, I’m serious.”

“And so am I. No questions about backgrounds, no finding out more about my clients. I know their first name, I know what they need of me, and that’s it. We exchange goods and then I’m out.”

“What if you’re helping a criminal of the Clave, Simon? You could get sucked in with them,” Clary says. She’s always worried about his well being more than he has. 

“Why do you think I hop around so much? I do a job here and the next day I’m in London doing a job. The day after that I’m in Alaska. The week after that Australia.”

“Simon.”

“It’s fine,” he says, talking right over them. He looks at his ledger, finding Asmodeus. Interesting name but Simon just shrugs it off, having helped this particular person time and time again. He always has the most interesting things for Simon in trade and it makes him a bit excited, wondering what he’ll have for Simon today. 

“Take care of yourself,” Clary says, reaching up and squeezing his hand, her hand cold against his own. He nods at them both before opening a portal and stepping through, letting it close behind him. 

Simon’s feet hitting sandy beach. He walks away from the water towards the grassy area, finding a bench nearby. It’s their usual meeting spot, a small, unknown beachy area. By the way this guy smells when they meet, Simon guesses he lives either on the water or in a cave closeby. Good thing Simon doesn’t care, as long as he gets paid. 

“Simon,” a voice calls from behind him and Simon turns with a wide smile, taking the hand offered to him. 

Asmodeus grasps his hand firmly, never shying away like some other Shadowhunters had done in the past. Though, what sorta Shadowhunter lives on their own and strikes deals with Warlocks? 

The last time Simon saw Asmodeus was about six months ago and as Simon takes him in now, his stomach sinks. In the last six months, Asmodeus has somehow aged  _ years _ . His hair is turning white at his temples, the locks looking more wiry than before. His laugh lines and crow's feet are deeper, his skin sunken in, the skin at his cheekbones pulled tight. He also looks much thinner and almost frail, like something is sucking the life right out of him. 

Despite himself, Simon asks, “are you okay?”

Asmodeus’ face stretches into a wide smile and it’s semi alarming. “I’m fine. Never better actually.”

“Ah, umm. Okay. If you say so,” Simon says, folding his arms over his chest. “So what can I do for you today?”

“A small request today,” Asmodeus tells him carefully, pulling a small sheath from his pocket. There are engravings and jewels on it. It’s beautiful and belongs with, what Simon assumes, will also be a beautiful dagger. “I need the location of my dagger.”

“That should be easy enough.” Simon nods, looking up at Asmodeus expectantly. 

“Oh, yes. Of course I am willing to pay for your services, Simon.” He pulls something from the inside of his jacket, the item in question covered in a protective cloth. He carefully hands it over to Simon. Simon opens it, his eyes widening as he pulls the cloth away to find a first edition copy of Carmilla. This predates even Dracula! His inner nerd raises its head, doing an excited dance at the jokes he’ll be able to make at Luke and Clary’s expense because of this. 

“You know,” Asmodeus says carefully, watching Simon. “Dracula was a made up story. But that,” he nods towards the book, “is more than legend.”

Asmodeus never ceases to bring him something  _ interesting _ and today’s no different. He’s happy to help him and happy for the lesson. He might be a warlock who’s older than almost everyone he works with but he’s still got so much to learn. 

“Thank you,” Simon tells him seriously, keeping his professional face on. He carefully recovers the book and places it inside his never ending pocket. Then he holds out his hand for the sheath. 

Closing his eyes, Simon lets his magic flow. Tracking is simple enough really. He starts on a broad spectrum. Okay. It’s in this country. Then he carefully pulls it in tighter. It’s in this state. 

Simon takes a deep breath. The tighter the tracking, the more magic he needs. He needs to pinpoint as close as he possibly can. It’s in the city. Interesting. He pulls the awareness even tighter until he has the block. 

Sweat begins to drip from his temple. As he tries to tighten the tracking even more, he hits a block. Simon grits his teeth, trying to push against it but he finds a wall, one that his magic can’t penetrate no matter how much he bumps against it, no matter how much he tries to seduce his way in. 

Finally, he sucks in a sharp breath, opening his eyes once more. His eyes blink a few times, refocusing on what’s in front of him. Asmodeus is waiting expectantly and Simon sighs. “I got as close as I possibly could. I got the building but that’s as far as I could go before I hit a wall. Someone is blocking other people’s magic, probably a warlock and one more powerful than me.”

Asmodeus nods his head, taking the sheath back gratefully as Simon gives him the exact address. “Thank you for your help, Simon. It’s a pleasure working with you once again.”

“You too, Asmodeus.” Simon shakes his hand once again. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Always,” he tells Simon with a smile. Just then, Simon’s ear tickle with a whistle, metal flying through the air towards them. Out of instinct, Simon raises a wall of magic, deflecting the dagger before it can hit either him or Asmodeus. 

“What the?” Simon looks around with wide eyes, finding two Shadowhunters approaching rapidly, both with fire in their eyes that tells Simon they’re planning on doing more than just talking. “Fuck.”

Without a second thought, Simon opens a portal behind him as he steps up between Asmodeus and the Shadowhunters. He has no idea why they could be after this ex Shadowhunter who seems so weak and frail now. “Go,” he says quickly, careful to keep the wall present and protecting them. 

“Simon,” Asmodeus says gently, “thank you.” And then he’s walking through. Simon closes the portal just as the Shadowhunters get to his wall. 

“You fucker!” Magnus yells. “You stupid, stupid warlock!”

“Wow, how very original of you,” Simon draws out, completely unimpressed. He looks over at Raphael, finding him gritting his teeth in anger just the same as Magnus. They both look ready to murder him right here and right now. 

“Do you have any idea  _ who _ that was?”

“None,” Simon tells them. “Just some guy who paid me for a service.”

“You’re  _ working  _ for him?” Raphael spits out, looking disgusted. Simon tries to hide the way that makes his chest ache. He carefully puts up walls around his heart, preparing for the absolute worst. 

“I work for a lot of people,” he says with a shrug. “How am I supposed to know who you Shadowhunters are currently holding a grudge against?”

Magnus lets out a shout as he throws all of his weight behind his blade, shoving it as hard as he can into Simon’s barrier. Simon might not be the strongest warlock but he’s spent years mastering his defenses. With a flick of his wrist, Simon adds a bit of a zing to his wall, making Magnus fly back onto his ass with a grunt. 

“Instead of waving your fucking blades around and foaming at the mouth like a rabbid dog, why don’t you tell me what your problem is?”

Raphael shoves a finger into the air, pointing where Asmodeus just disappeared. “That is one of the most wanted Shadowhunters,” Raphael says, his voice a deep growl. “And you just  _ let him go _ .”

Simon hides his shock. Raphael’s lips twist slightly, telling Simon he didn’t hide it well enough. Magnus sits on the ground, his head in his hands as he stares down at the ground. He doesn’t like causing people pain so to see this Shadowhunter crumble like this is very unsettling, especially compared to how they usually present themselves. 

“By order of the Clave,” Raphael says, his voice now taking on a toneless quality that makes Simon shiver. His eyes jump from Magnus to Raphael as he continues. “You’re under arrest for aiding a convicted murderer.”

As much as Simon would like to turn tail and run, there’s something about all this that tugs at him. So instead he lets his wall fall down. “Lead the way,” Simon says, gesturing for them to go. Simon plans to fully cooperate. And what he gets in return is the side of his head getting hit with sharp, blinding pain before everything goes black. 


	3. Chapter 3

Raphael takes his stele out of his pocket, running it over his strength rune. The jolt of angelic power surges through him, the familiar feeling washing over him. Carefully, he lifts Simon off the ground, hoisting him over his shoulder. 

“Was that really necessary?” Magnus asks, his voice sounding dull and unimpressed. Raphael just grunts. They start walking towards the Institute. “He’s a warlock, Raphael. He could have portalled us to the Institute. Instead, you have to carry him through New York.”

Raphael looks over at his parabatai, giving him a glare. “Oh,” Magnus says, his face splitting into a wide smile. “I see what’s going on here.”

“You see nothing,” Raphael grits out, readjusting his hold on the warlock. 

“No, no, no. I think things are becoming crystal clear right now, my darling parabatai. You wanted to carry the nerdy warlock around, didn’t you?”

Raphael’s glare intensifies, trying to convey his annoyance with only his eyes. Magnus shakes his head, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing despite being the recipient of this look on a daily basis. “That’s not it and we both know it.”

“Right. Because you don’t get  _ those _ kinds of feelings.”

“I don’t,” Raphael tells him seriously. “And even if I did, Simon’s working with your father. He can’t be trusted.”

Magnus’ mood sobers at that and they walk in silence the rest of the way to the Institute. Once there, Raphael deposits Simon on Caterina’s couch. He’d rather leave him down in an interrogation room but Cat insisted and who is he to argue with the Head of the Institute. 

“So,” Magnus says slowly. They’re sitting in the hallway on opposite sides, the side of their feet touching. Magnus leans his forearms on his knees, leaning forward towards Raphael. “What do you think he was doing for my father?”

Raphael shrugs. “I’m not really sure. And I’m not sure I care. Helping him is grounds for arrest. If it was up to me we’d be sending him to the guard, not Cat’s couch.”

Magnus raises his brow. “You really don’t like him, do you?”

“Why should I? He’s done nothing to earn my trust, Magnus.” When Magnus looks ready to argue, Raphael raises his hand. “Yes, he healed you. But for a price. Everything warlocks do is for a price.”

“Maybe that’s why he’s helping my father. Maybe it was just business.”

“By the Angel,” Raphael says with an annoyed sigh. “Why are you on his side?”

“I’m not. I’m just trying to look at this with a clear head instead of losing my temper. I can feel how uncomfortable this guy makes you. Just trust me, Raphael, we need to use him for information instead of just shipping him away.”

Raphael crosses his arms over his chest, stretching his legs out flat and leaning back against the wall. Magnus is right. There’s something about this guy that sets Raphael’s teeth on edge, something that pulls at his gut. He has no idea what it is exactly, only that Simon makes him feel offcentered. Being a Shadowhunter, feelings like that could get him killed. So to the best of his ability, he shoves them down, trying to look at the situation with a clear head. 

If Simon’s been helping Asmodeus, he could know what his next move is. Simon could be the key to bringing him to justice. 

Raphael likes control. It’s no secret, those who know him best know this. It’s one of the many reasons Simon gets under his skin. He feels that tight grip on his self control slack, and slack leads to mistakes. Raphael’s proud of his strength, proud of his tight and rigorous training. He can fight with a sword, a dagger, a knife. He spends hours on hours training and honing his skills. From muscle memory, he knows how to react from an attack at any side, knows what to do in any hold. 

Raphael holds tight to that control. There are factors that make that control slip. Like being bonded with someone as spontaneous and erratic as Magnus. He’ll never regret tying their souls together, but sometimes Raphael misses having a complete hold of himself at all times. Sometimes he wishes—

“Fine. He might be useful,” Raphael admits, pushing his thoughts away. He doesn’t have time to ponder why Simon gets under his skin. Raphael accepts it and wants to move on to what happens next. He’s learned that he can’t control the violence or the world, despite how much he’d like to, but he  _ can _ control himself and his reactions. “That doesn’t mean I have to like him.”

“Glad we’re on the same page,” Simon says brightly, stepping out of Cat’s office. 

Caterina steps out as well, letting out a long sigh. “You two don’t have to like each other,” she tells them seriously. “But I need you to put your differences aside and work together.” Raphael stands up, preparing to argue but Cat’s stern look stops him. She lifts a finger, pointing at the three of them. “Mr. Lewis and I have sorted out a deal. He’s got crucial information about Asmodeus. The two of you are to escort him to retrieve his journals.”

“So we’re on warlock sitting duty?” Magnus asks, looking at his nails like he doesn’t have a care in the world despite the way Raphael can feel the underlining worry going on inside of him. 

“Yes,” Caterina says. Before turning away, she lifts her brow and tells them, “behave. Or I’ll put you both on weapons cleaning duty. For a month.” And then she’s shutting her door behind herself. 

Magnus groans. “This is your fault,” he tells Raphael under his breath. 

Simon turns towards them, his face split into a wide smile that makes his dimples pop. “Shall we?”

Magnus groans again before turning away. Raphael and Simon follow behind until they’re out on the front steps of the Institute. “Have you by chance met the alpha of the New York pack? Alec Lightwood,” Simon murmurs, more to himself than to anyone else. “Great guy. A bit of a hardass but most alphas are, in my experience anyway.”

Simon waves his hands in front of himself, creating a portal at the bottom of the steps. Simon turns only enough to grip Raphael and Magnus’ sleeves before pulling them through. Once through, they’re stepping into a parking lot, a diner in front of them. Raphael takes a moment to swallow the bile in his throat, never getting used to portal travel. 

Magnus, on the other hand, takes in a deep breath, his face splitting into a smile. He’s always loved it, the traitor. 

“Marvelous,” Magnus says, clapping his hands in front of him. “I was feeling a bit peckish. And I insist that Simon buys.” He turns towards Raphael. “Never trust a stingy warlock, Raphael.”

“Right,” he says back with a grimace. “Because  _ that’s _ my biggest worry right now.”

“Welcome to Taki’s,” Simon tells them, gesturing up towards the diner. “Shadowhunter’s have always thought the biggest Downworlder spots were clubs or bars, but really, we like simple things. Like diners.”

“Huh,” Raphael says to himself. He’s surprised. He hides that he’s surprised. 

They follow behind Simon and Raphael sees the warlock is in his element. It’s slightly off putting, being in someone else’s space like this, somewhere he’s obviously unwelcomed to which he and Magnus quickly realize. 

“Are you serious?” a woman says the moment Simon walks in the door. She’s got long dark hair and bright red lips. “Simon. You brought  _ Shadowhunters _ here? Alec’s gonna be so mad.”

Simon’s cheeks lose some of their color, his eyes showing worry. “I was in a bit of a pickle, Izzy.” He walks over to the counter, leaning over and kissing the woman’s cheek. Raphael looks away quickly, his stomach rolling. He finds Magnus watching him. 

Raphael looks around, wanting to gauge their surroundings. There are booths lining the walls, a counter in the shape of a horseshoe in the middle of the diner. There’s obviously a kitchen to the opening of the horseshoe and some doors to the right of that which lead to the back, an employee only sign on it. That door opens, a tall, dark haired wolf stepping out. 

The wolf lets out a growl, his eyes shining alpha red. Those eyes find Simon and his face turns outraged. Raphael’s hand finds one of his blades, watching the scene unfold. 

“By the Angel,” Magnus murmurs beside him. 

“Alec,” Simon gets out, his hands up in surrender, his voice coming out like he’s seeing an old friend for the first time in years. “Buddy! Hey! How are you?”

“Simon! What the fuck? You know the rules!”

Simon folds his hands behind his back as he bounces on his toes. “I’ll be in and out, I swear,” he tells Alec. “I just need to get to the backroom, grab my journals, and then I’ll be on my way, bringing my pain in the ass along with me.”

Alec tilts his head in question. 

Simon tosses his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at Raphael. “It’s the pet name I’ve come up with for that one. Our meeting was something from a romance novel, Alec. Love at first…. Stabbing.”

“God, you’re so fucking weird,” Alec murmurs, his eyes losing their red, instead fading to a hazel color. Magnus still hasn’t said anything, his eyes glued to the werewolf. “Fine. Get your shit and then get out of here.”

“Stay here. I’ll go with Simon,” Raphael says, making Magnus snap out of his stupor.

“Right. Of course. You go,” Magnus murmurs as he pushes Raphael along, his eyes  _ still _ glued to Alec. Raphael sighs as he walks away. 

“Hey,” he says once they’re through the employees only door. “Stop saying shit like that to people.”

Simon looks over his shoulder, giving Raphael a wide smile. “Don’t be so sour, Raphael. I know they teach you Shadowhunters that nothing matters beyond the hunt but life is short. You gotta learn to live a little.”

Raphael scowls. “Rich coming from an immortal.”

Simon just gives him a shrug before going down a hallway and ducking through a door. They’re in an office, most likely Alec’s. Raphael watches as the warlock steps up to a wall. He raises his hands, slowly twisting his wrists into a circle. His fingertips light up with that green that Raphael is coming to associate with Simon. The wall shimmers for a brief moment before a safe is suddenly there. Simon flicks his fingers at it and it opens for him. 

“Here we go,” Simon murmurs to himself. He pulls out a small bag from the safe before shutting it again. 

“That can’t be it,” Raphael says, his brows wrinkling. 

“They’re all in here.” Then he wiggles his fingers in Raphael’s direction. “It’s called magic.”

Raphael rolls his eyes, annoyance flaring through his chest at the gesture. He grits his teeth, trying to keep his cool. He’s on a mission and it’s his job to make sure Simon isn’t getting himself into trouble. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Before they can step out into the main section of the diner, Simon pauses. He turns back, giving Raphael a long, serious look. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Raphael is struck silent, waiting for Simon to continue. “I had no idea that Asmodeus did that. He never seemed unsettled when we did business in the past. I would create portals for him or we’d trade rare spell items. If I’d known I wouldn’t have--” Simon doesn’t finish his sentence, instead just shrugs. “I know you probably don’t really give a shit. But I just. I wanted you to know. That.”

Raphael clears his throat, looking away. He’s not really sure what he feels. So instead, he feels frustrated. One minute, this fucking warlock is helping the enemy. That was clear cut. That was  _ easy _ . And now he’s doing shit that Raphael’s not expecting and it makes things  _ complicated _ . 

Finally he says, “thanks. For uh, letting me know.”

Simon gives him a small smile, like maybe he gets the confusion Raphael is feeling. When they step back out, Raphael just barely keeps himself from rolling his eyes. 

Magnus has a hand on Alec’s forearm, the werewolf’s face bright red but his eyes are bright. 

“Come along, Magnus,” Raphael calls out as they walk towards the door. Magnus gives him a pout before turning to say goodbye to Alec. 

Just before they leave, Izzy comes into the room, her phone at her ear and her eyes wide. “Wait,” she calls out. “Something’s wrong.” Raphael’s heart picks up speed as he waits. “It’s Underhill. He said there was an attack at his home.”

“Oh god,” Simon murmurs, his face looking pale and distraught. His wide eyes look towards Raphael, the wheels of his brain turning until something clicks. “Now I know why those coordinates were so familiar. I’m an idiot, fuck! It was Asmodeus. I think I helped him steal a dagger.”


	4. Chapter 4

When Simon steps through the portal and finds himself in Underhill’s building, his breath catches in his throat. Fuck. This is bad. “Andrew,” he calls out as he walks down the hall towards the open door, the door he knows is to Underhill’s apartment. You’d think the Warlock of Brooklyn would live in the penthouse in this building but not Underhill. He likes to blend in and live in the most mundane ways, hiding in plain sight. 

Simon carefully steps over the dead demon, looking over his shoulder where Raphael, Magnus, and Alec are all following behind. Magnus kneels down, getting a better look at the demon. 

“These are used for retrievals,” Magnus tells the group. “Demonic doggie playing fetch.”

Simon’s heart picks up speed as he runs into Underhill’s home, looking around at the disarray. He did this. Simon helped this destruction happen. His indifference is finally here to bite him in the ass. 

“Simon,” Underhill says and Simon lets out a breath, finding the Warlock without injury. He runs up, hugging Underhill tightly. Underhill goes stiff in his arms but Simon doesn’t care. “Uh? Simon?”

“Right. Sorry,” Simon murmurs, pulling away and stepping back. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Underhill says carefully, looking at Simon strangely. Which, yeah, okay. Simon might deserve that. He’s never been close with Underhill, trying to stay under the radar as much as possible. But the thought of Simon being the reason one of his own kind got hurt doesn’t sit right with him. 

Not asking questions was a way to keep himself safe, but now it’s proving to put  _ others _ at risk. So Simon turns to Underhill and squares his shoulders. 

“What did they retrieve?”

Underhill looks over Simon’s shoulder, his face closing off as the two Shadowhunters walk into the room. “Alec,” Underhill greets with a nod. “Interesting crowd you’re keeping.”

Alec looks from Magnus to Underhill, giving a confused shrug. 

“I uh, I’ll vouch for them,” Simon says, waving a hand at Magnus and Raphael. “They’re with me. They’re uh, they’re kinda my muscle at the moment.”

“Your muscle. Right.” Underhill looks at him long and hard and Simon tries desperately not to squirm. Finally, Underhill sighs and his hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose, resigned. “It was a dagger. Ceremonial.”

“What sort of ceremony?” Magnus asks, his voice coming out soft and controlled despite the emotions he must be feeling. Simon has heard about Shadowhunter teachings, how they’re taught to not allow emotions to cloud their judgement. He’s not sure he’s ever seen it in practice quite like this though. 

“It has demonic properties that are usually paired with hellhound blood,” Underhill tells them. He waves his hand, righting all of his furniture with his magic before making the demons’ bodies disappear. “In theory, it could allow someone to speak with someone from a dimension of hell. I’ve only read about it, not wanting to try it myself for obvious reasons.”

“Shit,” Raphael hisses, his hand coming to rest on Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus is biting at the side of his thumb, looking at the ground with a wrinkled brow. 

“I think it might be time to share with the class,” Simon suggests lightly. “We’ve gotta know what we’re up against here, guys.”

Raphael opens his mouth to say something but Magnus stops him. Simon’s eyes meet Raphael’s and for a moment there’s a softness to it. And in the next moment that’s gone, a stone wall between them. Not that Simon really blames him, he’s a giant fuck up who’s probably done a lot more damange than he’s done good. Guilt sits heavily on his chest. 

Magnus sits down on the love seat across from Underhill, leaning his forearms on his knees, leaning forward. Alec sits beside him, leaving Simon and Raphael to stand to the side. Magnus’ eyes turn serious and hard as he looks at Underhill. 

“The man who stole your dagger is my father. Asmodeus Bane.”

Simon watches Underhill’s reaction. The High Warlock of Brooklyn takes a deep breath before sighing and rubbing at his eyes tiredly. “Right,” he says gently, snapping his fingers and conjuring drinks for everyone. “Start from the beginning.”

Magnus picks up his drink off the table, tossing it all back in one swallow. He grimaces the tiniest bit before straightening his shoulders, taking this head on. “The rumors are true,” Magnus starts. “My father killed my mother in her sleep. What the Clave didn’t let out was the reasoning behind his actions. They wanted everyone to think it was the actions of a crazy man.” 

Alec puts his hand on Magnus’ back and Magnus looks over, giving him a grateful smile. Magnus’ eyes are sad as he talks and when Simon looks over at Raphael, he finds his brows wrinkled and upset, like he shares Magnus’ sadness. 

“Ragnor was close with my father and after all of this, he raised me as his own. He told me what really happened. A demon had somehow made contact with my father. The demon tricked him into falling in love with it. My father wasn’t insane,” Magnus tells them, his lip curling in disgust. “He was acting out of love and devotion. The demon made him think that killing my mother would somehow set it free from it’s hellish prison.” Magnus shakes his head slowly. “I thought maybe he was done. Once he realized the demon was lying he would stop. But it seems his crusade is far from over.”

“If he finds a Hellhound to kill with that dagger,” Raphael says slowly, putting the pieces together. “He’ll be able to talk with the demon again.”

Underhill nods slowly, taking it all in. Raphael moves behind the love seat, putting his hand on Magnus’ shoulder and Magnus reaches up, clasping his wrist. 

“I’ll be by the Institute tomorrow,” Underhill tells them. “I’ll bump up the warding and bring any books I can find on demons, hellhounds, and rituals.”

“Thank you,” Raphael says seriously. “We appreciate the help.”

“I’m not helping you out of the kindness of my heart,” Underhill says, his voice flat and unimpressed. “Shadowhunters make Downworlders’ lives hell, and this is just another example of that. I’m helping in order to keep my people safe from your kind’s stupidity once again.” Underhill sighs as he leans back in his seat. 

“Andrew,” Alec says softly. Simon can see the way Alec is trying to soften the blow and Underhill gives him a look. 

“Sorry,” Underhill murmurs. “It’s been a long night.” He nods to the door, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you wouldn’t mind seeing yourselves out, I’d like to try getting some rest.”

“Of course,” Simon says, trying to give Underhill a smile. “Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

Underhill gives him a long look. “Don’t think this is over, Simon. I’ll be keeping an eye on you. One toe out of line and this city will no longer be a welcoming place for you.”

Simon gives him a salute. “Understood.”

Years of practice has taught Simon how to wall up his reactions, how to put up a wall so people can’t see what bothers him. Right now, his heart is breaking and his chest is tight. But on the outside, everyone sees his goofy smile, his carefree attitude. 

They say their pleasantries before walking out of the Warlock’s home. “I should head back to the pack,” Alec says, rubbing the back of his neck and looking awkward. 

“Thank you for keeping my things safe,” Simon says, patting Alec’s shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll be bothering you again real soon.”

“It was a pleasure, darling,” Magnus says, giving Alec a wide smile though his eyes are tired. 

Alec’s cheeks turn pink before he’s turning and walking away. Simon makes a note to tease him about this later. Or at the very least text Izzy and let her know what happened. 

“Shall we?” Simon asks, twisting his hands in the usual way in order to create a portal. He waits for Magnus and Raphael’s nod before stepping through, finding himself in front of the New York Institute. 

Simon clears his throat and Magnus pauses, turning to look at him. Simon feels his heart speed up and he crosses his arms over his chest, holding himself tightly. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” he says carefully. “I feel a lot of this is my fault and I never meant to bring you more pain.”

“It’s not your fault,” Magnus says, “my father--”

“Asmodeus is to blame,” Raphael jumps in, his brows furrowed when he looks at Simon, his eyes hard. “But you should have known better. For a warlock, you are incredibly immature.”

“I know,” Simon says with a wince. “Cursed to be forever young. I embraced that fact. But I should have asked questions. I can’t change the past. All I can do is make this right now and I’m going to do everything in my power to do just that.”

“Good,” Raphael grunts out before turning and walking through the Institute doors. Simon winces again. 

“Don’t worry, I have a feeling you’re growing on him.”

“Yeah. Like an annoying fungus,” Simon says with a sigh. “Do you think Catarina will let me into the library to start my research?”

Magnus nods, gesturing for Simon to follow. “I’m sure something can be arranged. Come on.”

Walking into the Institute, they find Raphael at a monitor, his face blank of any emotions. It freaks Simon out, his belly sinking. Those dark brown eyes turn to Simon, making Simon go cold all over. 

“A report just came in. A patrol found the bodies of three dead hellhounds left in a back alley. Their throats were slit.”

Fuck. 


	5. Chapter 5

Raphael steps up to the library, pausing just outside to catch his breath and think. His brain feels like it’s running a mile a minute and he just wants it to settle long enough to figure shit out. This entire situation is messed up, even worse than they probably know. Everything is slipping out of his control, like leaves flying through the wind and no matter how hard he tries to catch it and hold on, it just keeps drifting away. 

Raphael rubs at his eyes tiredly, feeling like a weight sits on his shoulders. His heart aches for Magnus in a way it  _ only _ hurts for him. Raphael is good at closing himself off and keeping his emotions in check with almost everything. His parabatai is his exception. If he could take this pain away he would, but all he can do is focus on figuring out Asmodeus’ plan and stopping him before he can hurt Magnus even more. 

He steps through, ducking through the shelves in search of Simon. He finds the Warlock bent over a book. Raphael leans against the shelf, just watching for a moment. Simon’s at an alcove, stacks of books and notebooks all over the table he’s working at. He keeps yawning and rubbing at his eyes and even from here Raphael can see he’s barely hanging on. 

Part of Raphael wants to walk away and leave Simon to over work himself. It’s the least he could do after all he’s already done. 

But another part, a bigger part of Raphael, wants to make sure Simon is taken care of. The feeling jolts through him and it confuses the fuck out of him. Raphael can count on one hand the amount of people he truly, deeply cares for and consciously looks after. What is this fucking Warlock doing to his head? 

Inwardly, Raphael groans before walking over to where Simon is working. He clears his throat, making Simon jump in his seat. Those big, wide eyes turn towards Raphael and Raphael’s stomach feels weird for a moment. He shoves the feeling down. 

“Hey,” Simon says, his voice coming out soft and a little hoarse. 

“You should get some rest, Simon.”

“No,” he says back, shaking his head. Then he lets out a jaw cracking yawn. “It’s fine. I’m totally fine. I’ll just--” Simon waves his hand, refilling his mug with coffee. Before he can grab it, Raphael picks it up and out of his reach. “Really? I’m fine, Raphael. Seriously.”

Raphael gives him an unimpressed look. “Simon. Go get some sleep. You’re useless while you’re this tired and we need you at your best.”

“Fine,” Simon says with a long sigh. “Whatever you say,  _ Daddy _ .”

Raphael  _ knows _ Simon says it as a joke, to be sarcastic and funny. But something inside Raphael’s chest flips almost painfully. He sucks in a sharp breath at the feeling. By the way Simon’s eyes widen, he feels it too. And then he goes and ruins it by chuckling awkwardly. “Right. Okay. I’m uh-- You know. I’m just gonna go. Go do  _ that _ . Yeah. Okay. Bye.”

Raphael’s heart picks up speed as he watches Simon walk away. What. The fuck. Was that? As if things weren’t complicated enough Simon has to go and do  _ that _ ? Life would be so much easier if Raphael had never met Simon. But here they are and instead of dwelling on what if’s, Raphael focuses on what he can do right here and right now. 

Picking up Simon’s notes carefully, Raphael tries to get his breathing under control. His emotions have never been something he needed to  _ work _ at until now. It’s frustrating. Like an itch under his skin he can’t quite reach. 

Raphael ends up at the only place he truly trusts; Magnus’ door. He knocks and lets out a sigh of relief when Magnus answers right away. His hair is flat and his face is void of any makeup. His patrol clothes have been traded in for silk pajamas. 

“Raphael, everything okay?”

“Fine,” Raphael grunts, shoving the stack of notes into Magnus’ hands and walking into his room without waiting for an invite. They’re parabatai and they’ve always had an open door policy with each other. He strides across the room, flopping down onto Magnus’ couch and throwing his arm over his eyes. 

Magnus hums. “Well alright then.” 

They’re both silent as Raphael sulks and Magnus sits down on the floor cross legged, sorting through Simon’s notes. So many things flit through Raphael’s head all at once. When he thinks of Simon his chest clenches and it fills him with bone deep confusion. The Warlock is stupid and Raphael hates nothing more than when people are  _ stupid _ . And yet, a part of him wants to help Simon be less stupid. He has no idea what that  _ means _ . 

“Hermano,” Raphael finally says, breaking the silence. “I hate Simon.”

“I know,” Magnus says without even looking up. 

“I think I like boys,” he announces with a long, frustrated groan. 

That makes Magnus pause. “I thought you didn’t like anyone?”

“Yeah, me too.”

Magnus’ brows wrinkle as he continues reading, absentmindedly adding, “you could do a lot worse. He’s working really hard to make things right.”

“I shouldn’t even be thinking about this,” Raphael says, rubbing at his eyes again. “Emotions cloud judgement. I should be taming the damn Warlock not whatever the hell this is,” he murmurs more to himself than to Magnus. Magnus makes a humming noise, letting him know he’s listening. “This is a distraction that we don’t need right now,” he finally says with conviction. 

Magnus finally sets the paper down slowly, his eyes wide. “I found something, Raphael.”

Raphael sits up, his heart picking up speed. “What is it?”

“I-- Well, it’s a lot. I think I’ve connected it all together.”

“Tell me, Magnus.”

Magnus shakes his head. “It’s my job as your parabatai to remind you that it’s okay to live. You know that, right? Emotions cloud judgements, but it’s  _ love _ that makes us strongest. Love makes us fight tooth and nail without ever giving up. I would fight for you with my dying breath because I  _ love _ you. So don’t shut it down before it has a chance to blossom because who knows what sort of potential there is there.”

“I’m not sure what to say to all of that.” There’s a moment of silence before Raphael nods. “Thank you,” he whispers.

“Now, onto more pressing matters than your love life,” Magnus says with a grin that makes Raphael grunt. 

“Asshole,” Raphael murmurs, swiping his hand across his face, focusing on the information Magnus has found. 

“One more thing. If you ever wanna talk about anything, I’m always here.”

Raphael looks up at Magnus, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder. “I know. I don’t say it but I hope you know I love you.”

“Love you too,” Magnus says, reaching out his hand and clasping their wrists together so their parabatai runes touch. Then he pulls away, picking up the papers from his lap. Magnus clears his throat as he runs his fingers over the edge. “I think my father is trying to release the uh,  _ the _ demon. There’s a story I remember learning about. A powerful demon was locked away, but every time they managed to escape.”

“Right,” Raphael says, remembering the story. “Until a group of people came together. There were werewolves and seelies and vampires and warlocks and Shadowhunters. They all worked together to seal the demon away once and for all.”

“Or so they thought,” Magnus says. His brows are wrinkled when he looks up. “I think my father has found a way to break the demon free. There were safeguards put into place. Apparently if he breaks enough seals, the demon can walk free once more.”

There’s a frantic knock on the door and they both look up. Magnus continues pouring over Simon’s notes as Raphael goes to open the door. 

Raphael wasn’t sure what he was expecting but a frantic looking Simon wasn’t it. “Thanks for the nap,” he says, walking into the room, a phone to his ear. “It was the thing I needed to figure this puzzle out. Hey Magnus--” Simon waves before speaking into his phone. “Yeah, hey Jace. Is there any way you can meet me at the bridge. Bring her with! Yeah. I need you to bring all you know about a demon that was locked away years ago. And everything you know about breaking the damn thing out again.”

Raphael looks to Magnus, raising his brow. Magnus just shrugs back. 

“I’m being serious, man. I need  _ everything _ . Pull whatever string you have with  _ her _ ,” Simon says, shuddering when he says the last part. “No, I will not go on a date with her. Fuck her. I know she’s your queen but god, she’s awful. Yeah, yeah. Now go get the shit and bring it to the bridge.”

There’s a long pause where Simon’s shoulders go slack and he breathes out. “Yeah. I’ll owe you one. Thank you.”

“Who was that?” Magnus asks curiously. 

“Oh, that was Jace. Seelie friend of mine.” Simon puts his phone away before picking up his notes from the floor. “I’d suggest you both get dressed and activate those fancy coffee runes you have. I’m going to see Jace and I need my Da--” Simon freezes and clears his throat. “I need my bodyguards to come make sure I’m safe,” he says with a wide smile that shows his cheek dimples. 

“Stamina,” Raphael says when Simon finally stops his flailing and looks at them. 

“What?”

“They’re called stamina runes.”

“Oh,” Simon says with a nod. “Right.”

Raphael internally rolls his eyes at himself. His fingers run over his belt where he keeps his throwing knives before nodding. “I’m ready.”

Magnus on the other hand sighs. “Give me a moment,” he says, shoving them both outside his room so he can change. 

“So, uh, about before,” Simon starts but Raphael cuts him off. 

“Hey, Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Raphael almost breaks when he looks over and finds Simon pouting. But he looks ahead, relief hitting him when Magnus comes out of his room. Magnus twirls his stele between his fingers before lifting his shirt and running it over his stamina rune. He gestures for Raphael to turn around, lifting the back of his shirt and doing the same to Raphael’s rune which is at his lower, right back. “Alright, darlings, after you,” Magnus announces, gesturing towards Simon. 

Simon shoves his notes into the pocket of his jacket before walking through the Institute and outside. Then he opens a portal. 


	6. Chapter 6

Simon walks through the park, trying to keep the chill from getting to him. It’s dark and the shadows all seem to have minds of their own, shifting and swaying. 

“You’re not afraid of the dark, are you, Sheldon?” Magnus asks with a grin.

“Are you kidding? Of course I’m afraid of the dark. You and I both know the types of things that can be lurking in the shadows.”

Raphael snorts and Simon glares at him, pulling his jacket tighter around himself, trying not to shiver. 

“It’s hard to be afraid when you’ve been trained to take on the worst,” Raphael says, almost absentmindedly. 

“There are some things your knives can’t beat,” Simon says back. 

“Haven’t met one yet,” Raphael tells him slowly, looking at Simon. Something seems to pass between them but then Raphael is shaking his head, looking ahead once more. Which is all well, he needs to focus as they step up to the bridge. 

Two figures stand there, both leaning against the side of the bridge, one with their back to it and the other looking down at the water. They straighten when they get sight of Simon and his Shadowhunter posse. 

“Jace! Maia!” Simon greets, walking right up to them and hugging both of them. Jace gives a warm chuckle, his face lighting up with a smile. Maia is more reserved but Simon can tell she’s no less happy to see him. 

Simon turns, pointing at Raphael and Magnus. “This is my pain in the ass,” he says, nodding to Raphael who gives him a grumpy look. But Simon can see the way the very tips of his lips twitch, like he wants to smile. “And his parabatai.”

“Since when do you hang out with Shadowhunters?” Maia asks, crossing her arms over her chest, her Seelie armour rattling.

Simon rubs at the back of his neck, a bright blush burning his skin when Raphael answers for him. “Since Simon’s gotten in over his head.”

Jace looks ready to protest but Simon puts up a hand. “It’s true. I fucked up. That’s why I need your help.”

Jace gives him a long look before finding nodding. “Fine.” He hands over a bag of books. “Our Queen says hello, by the way.” Simon wrinkles his nose. Jace’s eyes dart over to Magnus. “She says she’d be delighted to meet you, Magnus. When times are less troublesome, of course.”

“Why me?”

“She thinks you’re handsome.”

Simon makes a distressed noise at the back of his throat. “Magnus will pass, thanks for the offer though,” he says before turning to Magnus. “Trust me. Camille becomes obsessive and likes to play with her food. Stay  _ far _ away.”

“There’s more,” Jace says. His usual joyful, joking face has turned serious. “From what I’ve been able to find, there’s a seal happening. Tonight.”

“Tonight?” Simon practically shouts, feeling his stomach sink down to his feet. He grabs at the ends of his hair, tugging it, letting the painful tug ground him. He swallows, trying to get a grip. “Okay, okay, okay. This is fine. Totally fine. Show me what you know.”

Jace takes Simon’s hand and Simon closes his eyes, feeling the connection he shares with his friend. In only a matter of moments, all the information Simon needs is in his brain. He lets go of Jace’s hand, gasping. Fuck. 

“Okay. We can work with this.”

“Simon,” Raphael says, trying to get his attention. 

Simon shakes his head. “It’s fine. I can fix this. I can make things right. I can totally handle taking care of this.”

“Simon,” he hears again but Simon pushes on. 

“I have everything I need. Just some chalk and my magic and a teether to this realm. I can go into the veil. Yes, okay,” he babbles to himself, only stopping when two strong hands grip his shoulders. 

“ _ Simon _ ,” Raphael says again and Simon is powerless to keep going, needing to stop as he’s trapped in Raphael’s gaze. 

“Raphael.”

“Take a deep breath,” Raphael tells him and Simon sucks in a large breath, feeling a bit of the tension slide away. He does it again, letting himself catch his breath, calming himself down, all the while staring into Raphael’s brown eyes. And have they always been this pretty? Or is Simon only noticing because they’re almost nose to nose? “There we go. Now, tell us slowly what you need. What’s going on?”

Simon takes one more breath as Raphael let’s go of him, his shoulders growing cold, missing Raphael’s touch. Simon turns towards his friends, catching both Seelies watching him intently. Great, he’ll never hear the end of this. 

“There’s a tree that lives in the veil,” Jace explains calmly. “That tree blooms once every 15 years.”

“And let me guess. It blooms tonight?” Magnus asks. 

“Got it in one,” Maia says with a smirk. “If Simon can go into the veil and grab the bloom before Asmodeus, the seal will be saved for another 15 years.”

“But won’t plucking it have the same effect?” Raphael asks. 

Simon shakes his head. “It’s all about intent when plucking this bloom. My intent is  _ not _ to unleash a very old and very powerful demon.”

“Okay,” Raphael says, looking to everyone else. “What do we need to do?”

Simon snaps his fingers, producing a piece of white chalk. “I need a flat surface to draw on, big enough for two people to lay down on. And I need a teether.”

“You know I’ll always be your teether, Simon,” Jace says with a wide smile, his eyes darting between Simon and Raphael. 

“There’s no need,” Raphael says, stepping up next to Simon. “I’ve got this.”

Simon looks down at Raphael, finding the Shadowhunter staring Jace down. Simon doesn’t understand what the fuck is happening right now but for some reason, his heart is picking up speed and his stomach is flipping. “Right,” he finally says, breaking the tension. “Draw first, decide teether partner later.”

It doesn’t take much looking to find the abandoned basketball court near the park they’re in. Simon takes a deep breath before starting to draw. He’s no artist, he’ll give that title to Clary, but he can write symbols and lines with the best warlocks. Simon concentrates on making every line perfect, pushing away the fact that he’s about to dive head first into the veil. Yeah, that’s not terrifying  _ at all _ . 

Simon looks up a moment, finding Magnus chatting easily with Jace and Maia. It’s no surprise really. Magnus seems to fit right in with the Downworlders better than any other Shadowhunter SImon’s ever met. He doesn’t see them as ‘other’ or lower than him, they’re just people. 

“Hey,” Raphael says gently, squatting down to Simon’s eye level. Simon looks away, focusing again on the finishing touches. What the fuck is it about Raphael that throws all of Simon’s rules out the window? No questions, no last names. But he finds himself wanting to know everything there is to learn about Raphael. He wants to know how to make the stern man smile, wants to know how to smoothen his brow. He especially wants to know what the  _ fuck _ that moment was in the library. He’d jokingly called Raphael Daddy and instead of getting that adorable grumpy frown, the word had felt  _ right _ . 

“You’re going to be fine,” Raphael tells him seriously, watching as Simon draws. “You’ll be in and out. You’re fast, quick on your feet, fast on the draw. You don’t have to be so worried.”

“I’m not worried,” Simon says straight away. There’s a long moment before Simon sighs and turns to look at Raphael. To his surprise, Raphael’s eyes are soft. “Okay. I’m worried. Actually, I’m terrified.” He looks away again. “But this is something I have to do.”

Simon startles when he feels a hand on his wrist. He stares at the way Raphael is touching him, unable to look away. “You’re not gonna do it alone.” And then the hand is gone again. 

Simon clears his throat. “It’s ready,” he says seriously, standing up and wiping the knees of his jeans. “Whoever’s going to be my anchor, step into the circle.” It shouldn’t surprise him when Raphael steps through. But it does. “Lie down, with your head pointed that way and your feet the opposite.” Simon steps in, laying with his head beside Raphael’s feet, mirroring the Shadowhunter. He closes his eyes, he left hand finding Raphael’s. “Close your eyes and try to clear your mind.”

Simon chants the necessary words before the magic grips his chest. He feels like he’s literally sinking into the ground beneath him. His breath is stolen and his body feels like it’s made of cement, heavy and lethargic. He feels like he’s sinking and sinking and sinking before finally, everything around him stills. Simon breathes again before opening his eyes and looking around. 

Everything is grey. That’s the first thing he notices. Grey, and lifeless, and muted. He turns towards where Raphael should be, finding the ground empty. But he doesn’t worry because he can  _ feel _ Raphael, can feel the connection they’re sharing. Simon didn’t expect it to feel quite like this. 

Simon stands up slowly, trying to catch his bearings. It’s jarring, everything being wispy and grey. He has to take a moment to let his eyes adjust to the difference. 

Simon stands slowly, turning every which way. Movement at the corner of his eyes makes him still. As he looks over, he finds a spirit drifting and he shudders. Fuck, this is creepy and he hates it. He shakes his hands out at his sides, taking in a gulping breath before finally moving. 

According to the information the Seelies had given him, the tree shouldn’t be too far from his starting point. He wanders, dodging the occasional spirit. They watch him as they drift past, their faces unreadable. Simon isn’t sure if they’re confused or too lost to the veil, unable to even remember they’re not supposed to be here. A cold wind curls around Simon and he pulls his coat tighter against the cold, this air somehow sinking right into his very bones. 

The sight of the tree makes Simon pause. It’s huge, its branches stretching out across the pale, grey sky. But there’s something about it. This entire plane is dreary and dead, but this tree somehow pulses with life, life that calls to Simon. 

Simon’s feet are moving without his permission, his eyes blinking slowly as he’s pulled, drawn to the tree. At the base, he reaches out with shaky hands to touch the bark. It’s rough against his palm and somehow ice cold. 

It’s nothing less than a miracle as he looks up, a small branch sprouting out just above his head. And on the end of that branch, is a perfect, grey bloom. It’s beautiful in its delicacy. Simon reaches up, letting one of his claws retract from its place below his finger nail. Just before he can pluck the flower, something tickles at his awareness, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up on end. 

He only gets to appreciate his find for a moment before a growl sounds through the air. Simon turns around, fear gripping his throat at what he finds. 

A demon stands there on all fours, it’s leathery black skin stretched tight across its bones. Drool drops from it’s fangs as it opens, showing the large teeth off to Simon. Like he needed more of a reason to piss himself with fear. A stink fills Simon’s nose, the smell of death and rot making it hard for him to focus and making his eyes water. The demon’s shoulders twitch as it gets into a stance low to the ground, preparing to strike. 

It turns out, maybe Raphael was wrong. Because in that moment, Simon isn’t fast, he isn’t quick, and he sure as fuck isn’t ready. Instead, the fear is too much for him to handle and he freezes.


	7. Chapter 7

Raphael closes his eyes, willing the blush of his cheeks to disappear as he holds hands with Simon. As best as he can, Raphael clears his mind, letting his breath out slowly as Simon’s magic links them together. He can feel it, the tether. Like another limb, not completely unlike the bond he shares with Magnus. It’s different, but also similar. He can feel Simon, feel that he’s okay, feel that he’s dipping into the veil. 

Raphael is hit with a sense of bone deep wonder and he knows at once it’s not  _ his _ feeling, it’s Simon’s. Whatever the veil looks like, it’s making Simon feel in awe and a flicker of excitement hits Raphael as well. He feels his face soften, unable not to when he’s feeling Simon’s emotions like this. The warlock feels things so strongly compared to Raphael, it’s almost overwhelming. 

Raphael tries to relax into the feeling of it all, steadying his breathing and calming his heart. He breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth, centering himself. That’s when the excitement he feels spikes. 

“Oh,” Raphael breathes, knowing without a doubt that Simon has found what it is they’re looking for. There’s a moment of disbelief and then elation. Raphael feels it like a phantom limb, like it’s his own but not quite, just barely out of reach. 

Raphael’s entire body suddenly tenses without his permission. His heart speeds up and he feels his hands shaking. Terror fills him and for the first time since teething with Simon, Raphael feels an emotion that’s solely his own; worry. 

Opening his eyes, Raphael uses his right hand to dig his stele from his pocket. He’s careful not to let go of Simon’s hand as he pulls the sleeve up on his left arm, finding an open spot on his forearm and carefully drawing a fearless rune. He’s not even sure if this will work, only going on the theory that because he can feel Simon’s magic, maybe Simon can feel his runes. 

_ Come on, asshole, _ Raphael thinks to himself.  _ Get yourself out of there. Please be okay _ . 

Raphael lets out a breath, his eyes closing once again as his angelic magic surges through him. A moment passes. And then another. Suddenly, he feels Simon’s magic surge and something inside Raphael’s chest unclenches. Somehow he just  _ knows _ Simon is fighting. 

A warmth spreads through Raphael from his head to the tips of his toes. He did that. He gave Simon the strength and the confidence to fight. He helped Simon. The realization that he was the one to push Simon into not feeling scared makes Raphael  _ happy _ . It makes him feel accomplished and  _ proud _ . By the Angel, it makes him feel things he doesn’t really have a name for. It’s-- Well, it’s fucking terrifying. But it’s also exciting, sending a thrill through him that he’s not sure he’s ever felt before. 

It’s confusing. And complicated. And the scariest part is there’s a tiny part of Raphael that wants to dive in and embrace it, to cherish it until it grows. But the more rational part of Raphael wants nothing to do with it because it’s a distraction from what’s important. 

The feeling of disbelief floods Raphael’s chest a moment before he sinks into the pavement, his body going lax and loose. Every worry fades away because he knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that Simon completed his task. It’s done. 

A tingling sensation goes through Raphael’s body and he breathes through it, clearing his mind. The feeling of Simon passing through the veil again is strange and foreign but after another moment it passes, leaving them complete once more, lying on the ground. Raphael opens his eyes and sits up, Simon mirroring him. 

“I did it,” Simon says excitedly. “I did it and I plucked the blossom. Raphael, we  _ did it _ .”

The smile that splits Simon’s face steals Raphael’s breath. It’s all pointy teeth and dimples. He’s-- He’s  _ cute _ . A flutter in Raphael’s chest makes him smile back. Simon’s hand squeezes his and that’s when Raphael notices he hasn’t let go yet. 

Their feelings are still all meshed together and he can’t tell if the joy he’s feeling is Simon’s or his own. And in that moment he can’t find it in himself to care, too focused on taking in every detail of Simon’s smile and the way his eyes are lit up with excitement and pride. 

That feeling in his chest vanishes when Simon leans forward, almost like he can’t help himself, like he’s lost all control, and kisses Raphael’s lips. 

Simon is kissing him. 

Raphael’s chest clenches and he panics, letting go of Simon’s hand in order to shove at Simon’s chest like his very touch is burning. Before Simon says a single word, Raphael is scrambling to his feet. Without looking back, he  _ runs _ . 

“Raphael,” he hears called after him but that only makes him run harder and faster. The sound of footsteps following makes his shoulders relax the slightest, knowing Magnus’ steps from a crowd. 

They run, side by side in silence through New York. At this point, Raphael doesn’t even care where they’re going, just needing to move, needing to keep going so he doesn’t have to focus on the crawling that’s going on under his skin. 

His lips are still tingling. 

As a Shadowhunter, Raphael has the endurance to keep going. He could run the entire length of New York City if he really wanted. But he doesn’t. So he eventually changes course for the Institute. 

“So,” Magnus says, completely out of breath as they get to the Institute steps. They both sit down, facing away from the front doors. “You wanna talk about it?”

Raphael covers his face with his hands, rubbing at his eyes. He nods his head before pausing. Then he shakes his head. Then he shrugs. 

“Helpful,” Magnus murmurs and it makes him smile, just the tiniest bit. 

“Cállate,” Raphael hisses under his breath, turning to look at his parabatai. “I hate that you know me so well.”

Magnus shrugs, leaning back against the steps and looking up at the sky. “That’s what happens when you’re raised with someone. We’ve been together since we were around eleven, there’s no going back now.”

“Twelve, actually,” Raphael corrects. He hunches forward, putting his face back into his palms as he tries to process everything that’s happened. 

“Ah yes, the ripe old age of twelve. I remember when Ragnor had brought you home, explaining to me how your parents had dropped you off, scared out of their minds that you could apparently see demons.”

“That’s because I  _ could  _ see demons,” Raphael says. 

“I know. We worked so hard to make sure you were up to date on training. I remember you fought so hard, stayed up so late. When you put your mind to something, Raphael, there’s no stopping you.”

“This conversation is lovely and all, but--”

“Hush, let me finish,” Magnus says, waving a hand at Raphael. “I was jealous of you at first. You picked things up so quickly. It wasn’t until later that I realized you didn’t just come into things, you worked your ass off, day in and day out. You were good because you trained yourself to be good. And that in turn, lit a fire inside me to do the same.”

Raphael shifts slightly to look at Magnus. “What’s your point?”

Instead of giving a straight forward answer, Magnus asks, “how do you feel about that kiss?”

“I don’t know,” Raphael says right away, looking down at his boots. 

“Did you enjoy it?” Raphael shrugs. “You know, it’s okay if you did. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“It’s confusing.  _ He _ is confusing. And I shouldn’t even be worrying about this, Magnus. There are bigger things afoot, more pressing matters to be taking care of.” He runs his fingers through his hair, making a growling noise at the back of his throat in frustration. 

“This feeling, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s not going away. And that’s okay. This feeling, these emotions, they just need time and practice, just like everything else in life. You’ll figure them out with time, Raphael.”

“Relationships usually end in certain  _ things _ . Things I’m not interested in.”

“Says who?”

Raphael raises his brow. “Says you and the media and every romance novel you’ve ever forced me to listen to you read.”

“Fuck them.”

“Fuck you?”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Well not literally, asshole.” Raphael snorts, shaking his head. “Is that something you want? A relationship?”

“I don’t know,” Raphael says honestly. “All I know is that I’ve never felt like this before. Never. But the kiss. It made me  _ feel _ . It made me...Happy.” Raphael can feel his cheeks growing warm but he pushes on, knowing if he can trust anyone it’s Magnus. “I think maybe, in a perfect world, I would, yeah.”

Magnus’ eyes go soft and he reaches over, tapping Raphael’s chin. “Well done, darling. Now all you have to do is talk to  _ Simon _ , the same way you did with me.”

Raphael stands up, messing up Magnus’ hair as he goes. “Nope. I think I’d rather just die alone. But thanks for the talk,” he calls over his shoulder as he goes through the doors of the Institute. 

Control. That’s what Raphael needs right now. And maybe that means avoiding Simon for a while until he can figure out a way to get that back. 


	8. Chapter 8

Simon tosses his notebook back on the table, rubbing at his eyes. Looking out the window tells him it’s night time here at his apartment in England. He lets out a long sigh, cracking his neck back and forth before opening a portal and stepping through, ending up in front of Taki’s. 

Simon puts on his best smile as he walks through the door, greeted with familiar faces and familiar smells. His smile turns more real as he steps up to a booth in the back. 

“Simon!” Jace greets with a wide smile, scooting over in order to make space for Simon to slide in next to him. Jace’s girlfriends are sitting on the other side, Maia’s arm wrapped around Clary’s shoulders. 

“Hey, everybody,” he says, giving them a little wave. 

“Simon,” Maia says, nodding her head at him. 

Clary on the other hand glares at him. “Where have you  _ been _ ? You don’t call, you don’t text. You just went MIA for  _ two weeks _ .”

Simon rubs at his eyes, wondering if he should maybe fish out his old glasses. They help when he’s been straining his eyes with long nights of research. 

“Simon’s probably been hiding out since making a fool of himself,” Jace adds with an amused chuckle. 

Simon reaches over and pinches his arm, smiling when Jace yelps. Clary folds her hands onto the table, resting her chin on them and staring at Simon with a wide grin. “Why Simon. Is this by chance the same Shadowhunter who shoved his blade up your butt?”

“Wait, what?” Maia straightens, staring wide eyes at Simon. “Raphael shoved his blade up your butt?”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Clary says. “He’s got a name?  _ Raphael _ ,” she says it in the weirdest way, making Simon wrinkle his nose at her. 

“Nothing happened,” Simon tries to tell his best friend. 

Instead of taking his word for it, she turns her eyes to Jace. “Did nothing happen?”

Jace looks at Simon. “Sorry, man. Seelies can’t lie.”

“They can omit the truth,” he murmurs under his breath to no avail, rolling his eyes when Jace jumps into the story. 

“So here’s what happened. Raphael jumped at the idea of being Simon’s teether. And then when he came out of the veil Simon  _ kissed Raphael  _ right on the lips!”

“You did  _ what _ ?” Clary cries. Simon would find her reaction hilarious if he didn’t wish this booth would open up and swallow him whole. He can feel the way his cheeks are heating up and he buries his face in his hands. 

“In my defense,” he says, pointing at his friends. “That connection was a lot stronger than I thought it would be. Hell, I can  _ still _ kinda feel him. I came out of the veil after getting a  _ surge _ of angelic magic pumped into my veins  _ and _ single handedly killing this super ugly demon. I was riding high on victory and he was there, smiling at me like he was  _ proud of me _ . Should I have kissed him? Probably not. But ya know what, I only regret it a lot. And now he’s avoiding me so there, there’s the story.” He stops rambling, his mouth snapping shut with an audible click. “Happy now?”

Clary shrugs. “Not particularly because I can tell you’re sad about the whole thing. But I’m also glad I know the truth.”

“Yeah? And why’s that?”

“Because next time you give me shit for something I did fifty years ago I’m gonna bring up the time you kissed the Shadowhunter that stabbed you in the ass.”

Simon slides down in the booth, covering his face with his hands. “I hate you all.” Jace pats his shoulder and Simon opens his fingers, glaring at his friend. 

A deep sigh sounds to his left and he looks over, watching as Alec pulls over a chair, sitting on it backwards. “What’s the warlock sighing about now?”

Jace’s face breaks out into a wide smile. “Simon’s in  _ loooove _ .”

Simon snaps his fingers and without even looking, his magic accelerates the rate in which Jace’s salad decomposes until it’s nothing more than a pile of gross leaf slime on his plate. 

“Really?” Clary asks, wrinkling her nose. Simon just shrugs, turning towards Alec. 

“Not to try to shift attention or anything because as we all know I would  _ never _ do something like that. But I heard you’ve been walking patrols with a certain glittery Shadowhunter,” Simon says, wiggling his brows at Alec. 

Alec’s jaw tenses a moment before he rolls his eyes. “Yes. Because one of us should play nice with the Shadowhunters and it obviously wasn’t gonna be you.”

Maia snorts. “Simon was playing a little  _ too _ nice.”

“Don’t let this go to your head,” Alec says, leaning against the back of his chair. “But Magnus is actually worried about you. He knows Raphael’s been avoiding you because feelings. Or something.”

“Wait,” Simon says, raising his hand in his air, his head swimming. “ _ Feelings _ ?” 

Maia shakes her head, Clary pinches the bridge of his nose and Alec and Jace let out matching sighs. Simon? Simon doesn’t care because holy shit, Alec just implied that Raphael has feelings for him. 

“I’m sure you and Magnus can talk about it tonight,” Alec says, his voice thoroughly unimpressed. “Don’t you have a walkabout date or something?”

“Don’t be mad I’m taking up your boyfriend’s time.”

Alec rolls his eyes but his cheeks turn pink the tiniest bit as he murmurs, “not my boyfriend.”

So he’ll just have to talk to Magnus and see what he can do to make this all up to Raphael without scaring him away even more. Easy peasy… 

~~~

The wind whistles through the air and Simon looks around nervously. A prickling hits the back of his neck and his shoulders tense. The shipping yard seems to be empty but there’s something pinging Simon’s awareness. 

“Fuck,” Simon yelps, turning and finding Raphael standing  _ right _ behind him. His heart leaps in his chest and his hand grips the front of his own shirt. “Jesus. Don’t  _ do that _ .”

Raphael looks bored. “Maybe if you didn’t rely on your magic so much, you wouldn’t be caught unaware like that.”

“I was aware!”

“Sure you were.”

Simon groans as he recovers, his heart still beating fast but for an entirely different reason. He thought he was meeting Magnus here. It’s too cliche to say his heart stops when he sees Raphael again after these two weeks but fuck, his heart literally swoops a little. How the hell did he somehow fall so deep so fast? That’s always been his problem, falling head first into love without even trying. 

“Did Magnus pay you to take his shift or something?” Simon asks, putting his hands into his pockets as they begin to slowly walk through the shipyard, checking between each storage container for anything suspicious. 

“No,” Raphael says simply. From the corner of his eye, Simon can see Raphael pull out a throwing knife, carefully flipping it over his fingertips as they walk. The motion is unfairly attractive and Simon just barely holds back a groan. “I actually asked him if I could take his shift.”

“Why?”

Raphael looks over. “I wanted to see you again.”

“Oh,” Simon breathes. He touches his cheek, willing the heat to go away. 

“I heard you saved another seal a few days ago.”

Simon nods his head. “Yeah. This one was far easier. No veil jumping thankfully. Just your average wards that stopped any portals from coming in. I’m sure any warlock could have done it.”

“Not just any warlock did it. You did, Simon.”

And what the hell is Simon supposed to do with that? Honestly. Does Raphael  _ want _ him to fall in love even harder? Because that’s exactly what he’s doing right now. Instead of voicing  _ any _ of that, he just shrugs. “Happy to do my part however I can.”

Raphael sighs as he stops walking, grabbing Simon’s sleeve and stopping him. Simon finally looks at him front on, taking in his perfectly styled hair, his pretty brown eyes, and his stylish black jacket that’s got a somewhat strange raised pattern to it that makes Simon wonder if Magnus got it for him. 

“I want you around for more than what you can do, Simon.”

Simon tries to hide his surprise but knows his eyes must be wide at the confession. And instead of taking it at face value and moving on, Simon opens his mouth and asks, “but  _ why _ ?”

Raphael opens his mouth to respond but just then, a noise sounds at Simon’s left. He raises his hand, bringing his magic forward without a second thought. It’s a small, insect-looking demon. Simon brings up a small green wall, smiling to himself when the demon smacks face first into it. 

The demon makes a noise, turning around and trying to run away but Simon stops it with another green wall. He does that again and again until the thing is boxed in. To finish it off, Simon drops a fifth wall down on top of it, squishing it like the bug it resembles. 

Simon turns to Raphael, giving him a wide smile, sliding his hands down the front of his coat. 

“On second thought, you’re right,” Raphael says, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know  _ why _ I want you around.”

“You wound me,” Simon says, trying to play off his hurt as a joke. 

“You don’t take anything seriously.”

“I  _ seriously _ took out that demon!”

Raphael looks away, lifting his hand to make Simon pause. From the same corner the demon came running from, comes three large hellhounds. Simon only has a moment to realize they’re in a fucking hunting formation before Raphael is moving, putting himself between Simon and the hellhounds. 

The hellhound in front leaps into the air towards Raphael and Simon throws up another wall. Only this time, a throwing dagger goes flying towards the hellhound, stopping just before it reaches its mark in the hound’s heart thanks to the wall. 

“Shit,” Simon hisses out. “It’s fine. Practice makes perfect. We’ll be a lean mean fighting machine before you know it.”

“Less talking. More fighting,” Raphael says, sliding onto his knees, turning his shoulders just right to dodge the fangs of another hellhound. As it leaps past, he expertly raises another blade, plunging it into its underbelly. 

Simon probably shouldn’t find that arousing. 

Simon swings his arms in a circular motion before snapping his wrist forward. One of the hellhounds let out a high pitched yelp as green magic laces around its throat like a leash, holding it still. Raphael leaps from his position on the ground. His angel blade lights up with angelic furry as he brings it down onto the hellhounds spine, stilling it. 

A howl rings out through the air and Simon freezes. Something about this situation isn’t right. Something in his memory is tingling just out of reach. Fuck. 

“Something’s not right.”

Raphael glances at him, his chest rising and falling. “You mean  _ other _ than the hellhounds?”

“Obviously.”

“By the Angel,” Raphael grunts, lowering his shoulder and tossing the third hellhound away as it jumps towards him, bringing his angel blade up to defend himself as he and the hellhound face each other. The beast lets out a snarl. “You’re so fucking annoying. I hate fidgeting and that’s all you do. I hate small talk yet you never shut up. You’re a  _ warlock _ .”

A fourth hellhound comes out of nowhere, leaping at Raphael’s back. Simon throws his hand out, getting a boundary spell against Raphael’s skin  _ just _ in time. The hellhound’s mouth wraps around Raphael’s shoulder but its teeth don’t hit any skin. 

Raphael falls to his knees on impact but uses that angelic grace to roll with the force. He’s able to slit the beast’s throat in the middle of their tussle. 

“Anything else you’d like to add?” Simon asks with a wince. He flings a ball of green magic towards the last hellhound but it’s too fast, dodging out of the way. 

“Yeah,” Raphael says, looking over his shoulder with a smile that Simon can only describe as soft. “Despite every fucking reason I shouldn’t, for some reason I still  _ like you _ .”

Simon opens his mouth but only the tiniest noise of surprise comes out. Without looking away, Raphael throws another dagger, striking the final hellhound. It turns to dust but Simon doesn’t look away, physically can’t. 

And then because Simon has the worst luck in the universe, a deep, feral growl comes from above them. On top of a shipping crate stands a large werewolf. 

“Great,” Simon whispers to himself and Raphael snorts beside him. Raphael pulls out his sword and it lights up blue. “Wait,” Simon says, putting his hand on Raphael’s arm. 

“What?”

“We can’t kill it,” Simon tells him with wide eyes, his heart picking up speed. “This all seemed too familiar, like I’d heard it before.”

The werewolf tips it’s head back and howls before leaping from the crate. Like second nature, Raphael brings his blade up and in Simon’s gut, he knows it’ll be a killing blow. Except, at the very last moment, Raphael seems to catch himself and braces for impact instead, letting the werewolf tackle him and rolling with the force of it. 

Simon doesn’t stand idle. He manipulates his magic into a net of twisting green. Raphael kicks out his legs, shoving them into the werewolf’s chest, forcing it back enough for Simon to drop the net. 

The werewolf fights it, flailing around. But that only serves to tie it up further in Simon’s magic. He grits his teeth, willing himself to keep hold. Raphael squats in front of the werewolf, making a shushing noise, trying to calm them down. The gesture does something to Simon’s heart. 

He’s not sure how long it takes but eventually the werewolf stops fighting. Simon adds a little extra something to the net, a soothing aura to help. Between one breath and another, the werewolf shifts, leaving behind a small woman. Simon pulls his magic back as Raphael takes off his coat, using it to cover the woman. 

Simon clears his throat which is suddenly dry. “To kill the werewolf that runs with hellhounds is to break the next seal.”

“Thank you,” Raphael says, his voice soft as he stands. “For stopping me.”

“Thank you for trusting me.”

“I do,” he says looking away. “Trust you, that is. I--” Raphael shakes his head before stepping into Simon’s space. 

Simon’s stomach breaks out with butterflies as he looks down into Raphael’s eyes. His hair is now a mess and he’s still kinda sweaty but to Simon he’s still beautiful. Raphael’s hand goes to Simon’s chin, holding him. 

“You can kiss me again. If you want.”

“How is this kiss different than the other one? How do I know this one won’t scare you away?”

Raphael gives the tiniest smirk. “This time I’m giving you permission.” 

Fuck. 

They have to take this werewolf back to the Institute, they have to look into more seal details, they have  _ so many _ things they need to do. But in this moment, Simon wouldn’t be able to tell you a single one. His entire body lights at Raphael’s words and all he wants to do is be good for him, to do as Raphael asks, to be praised at a job well done. 

With permission, Simon leans down and kisses Raphael’s lips. It somehow feels so much better than the first time. He can close his eyes and savor the feeling as warmth pools in his belly. It feels so good, so right. And knowing Raphael wants this? Is granting him  _ permission _ somehow makes it that much better. 

When they pull away, Raphael’s thumb slides over his bottom lip before he’s turning away and picking the werewolf woman up, cradling her in his arms. Simon hums, a smile on his lips he’s sure is going to be semi permanent. 

“Is this the part where I start calling you Daddy and you tell me what to do?” Simon blurts out, almost immediately regretting the words. 

Raphael’s cheeks turn pink as he rolls his eyes. “Dios, Simon. One thing at a time.”

“Fine. What’s step one?”

“I’ll take you on a date. And then we’ll go from there.”

“Saved a seal, saved a werewolf, got a date, you admitted you like me. I’d say tonight is a pretty great night.”

“Hey, Simon?”

Simon looks over, not even trying to hide his smile. “Fine. I’m shutting up.”

“Good boy,” Raphael says with the tiniest smirk. Simon will never admit that he almost trips while opening the portal to the Institute. Nope. Nothing could take away the high of knowing he has a date with Raphael. 


	9. Chapter 9

Magnus hums behind him and Raphael closes his eyes, wishing he’d left the Institute early to avoid this talk. 

“So,” Magnus says carefully, sitting himself at the end of Raphael’s bed. “Do I need to give him the shovel talk?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Raphael says with an eye roll, hiding the way his chest warms with affection for his parabatai. 

“Do I need to give  _ you _ the shovel talk? Because Simon seems rather fragile. Please don’t break the poor warlock.”

Raphael turns around, staring at Magnus. Magnus’ smirks as he stands up, coming to stand in front of Raphael. His hands slide over the lapels of his suit jacket before dusting off at the shoulders. “I’m not going to break him.”

Magnus hums. “You look nice. I’m glad you’re finally getting use of the suit I bought you three years ago.”

“I never had occasion for it.”

“I know.” Magnus looks into Raphael’s eyes. “I’m really happy you do now.”

Raphael swallows. “Yeah, me too.”

“Have fun tonight,” Magnus says, squeezing where his hands sit at Raphael’s upper arms. Raphael can feel the joy radiating from his parabatai, the feeling warm and unabashed. “And if you need anything, you call me, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Thanks for the pep talk, Dad,” he snarks before his eyes go soft. He shakes his head and looks down. “I’m still not sure this is even a good idea. It doesn’t feel fair, I’m going out and enjoying myself while you’re here hiding out.”

“You can’t stop living your life,” Magnus says gently. Ever since they’d found an old translation that stated the last seal required the sacrifice of a soul, Magnus has been staying in the Institute. From what they can tell, the grimoire had stated the last seal required the soul of the caster’s offspring. Which means Asmodeus will be coming for Magnus. 

“Maybe I should just stay here.”

“No. Absolutely not. I forbid it.”

“Magnus--”

“Nope. No Magnus-ing me! You will not be stuck here like me. Alec and I haven’t even gone all the way yet because he says it would be wrong to fuck where the Angels can see. If I can’t have my way with my werewolf then I need to live vicariously through my parabatai.”

Raphael wrinkles his nose. “Gross.”

“ _ Go _ .”

“Fine. But I’ll be home before midnight.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll be here waiting to hear every single detail.”

Raphael groans as he walks out of his room, flipping Magnus the bird over his shoulder as he goes. As he makes his way out of the Institute, he can’t seem to take the smile off his face. That tiny tickle of worry at the back of his brain only lasts until he sees Simon, waiting for him at the Institute steps. 

Raphael knew what the warlock would be wearing because apparently Simon didn’t own a single suit. He’d sent one of his own to wear for their date. He shouldn’t be surprised but somehow his breath is still stolen. His chest warms at the sight of Simon wearing his clothes, looking handsome with excited, bright eyes. 

His eyes dart away from Simon for a moment, registering a woman with blonde hair walking past them. He hates being unglamoured like this but it’s a date, not patrol, so he shakes the feeling away. 

“Raphael,” Simon greets, his face breaking into a wide smile. That smile does things to Raphael, things he’s only just now beginning to understand. “I know you’re uh, in charge tonight but would you like a portal?”

Raphael shakes his head. “The place we’re having dinner at isn’t too far from here so I thought we’d walk.”

They walk side by side, making small talk. It’s… it’s  _ nice _ . There’s no looking over his shoulder, there’s no tense muscles, and to his surprise, there’s no awkward pauses or uncomfortableness. The back of Raphael’s hand brushes against Simon’s and his stomach fills with butterflies. He’s never experienced anything like this before. As confusing as it is, it’s also equal parts exhilarating. 

“Oh,” Simon breathes, looking up at the building in front of them. 

“It’s no big deal. Magnus told me about this place and I thought it would be nice.”

They walk inside and take the elevator to the top floor. Feeling bold, Raphael rests his hand at Simon’s lower back, ignoring the way Simon’s dimples pop with how wide he’s smiling. The doors open to a restaurant, a hostess greeting them. Simon looks around with wide eyes, taking everything in. It’s more beautiful than Magnus let on. 

The walls and ceiling are made up of windows. Raphael had picked this time intentionally so they could see the sunset as they eat. The hostess, who happens to be a Seelie, seats them and hands them menus. 

“This is beautiful,” Simon says. His eyes are staring out the length of New York’s skyline and Raphael’s glad they’ve been sat at a window seat so they can look out. Without looking away from the view, Simon goes on. “I admit I’m feeling a little guilty about this.” He looks at Raphael, his smile almost barely there and Raphael wants to reach over and put the smile back into its place. “With everything going on, everything that I’ve done. I don’t know.”

“You feel like you don’t deserve it.” Simon shrugs which is more than enough of an answer for Raphael. “You’ve gone above and beyond to make up for not knowing about Asmodeus. Simon,  _ you’re good _ . Let yourself have this. Even if it’s just for tonight.”

Simon shakes his head, looking down at his plate. His fingers slide over his napkin. “That’s very wise,” there’s a pause, “Daddy.”

Raphael’s lips tip up, his heart stuttering at the name. Being called that is like a warm balm over his heart. It feels almost soft while also making excitement run through his veins. “Yes well, I have a very wise parabatai who might have had to tell me the same thing. I was ready to stay at the Institute with him but he practically shoved me out the door.”

“I’ll have to thank Magnus then,” Simon says easily, smiling up at the waitresses as she steps up to their table. 

Raphael orders them both a glass of wine, a salad to start, and steak with potatoes for their entree. After she’s left, he looks to Simon, freezing at the look he’s giving him. 

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

Simon’s cheeks turn a rosy pink color, highlighting his cheek bones. He bites his bottom lip, looking shy for a moment and Raphael doesn’t understand what’s going on. 

“No,” Simon says quietly. “You just.” He waves a hand at Raphael. “You just took charge. You ordered for me. And Jesus, Raphael, you look amazing in that suit. I’m just. A little overwhelmed, okay?”

“Oh,” Raphael breathes. “So I did something right?”

“Very right,” Simon tells him. “I’ve always enjoyed being with people who were more  _ take charge _ ,” Simon confesses, his cheeks brightening, turning from that pretty pink to a dark red. 

“I’ve never done anything like this before, Simon.” Raphael leans back in his seat. The waitress comes back with their wine and he thanks her before turning back to Simon. “I honestly have no idea if this is even a good idea. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. Before I met you I was just uninterested.”

“And now?”

Raphael picks up his wine, taking a drink as he thinks. “Now I don’t know. And I hate not knowing. I hate not being in control.” He pauses, trying to compose himself. “These feelings I have are confusing.”

Simon’s eyes are so soft when Raphael finally looks up and meets them with his own. “Lucky for us, they’re not new for me. I have a habit of falling hard very fast. It’s like a curse, really. I uh, tend to have strong feelings for people who never quite feel the same depth back. I’m too much for people.” Simon gives a self-depreciating laugh. “But hey, you’re my first Shadowhunter, so that’s something I guess.”

The elevator doors open again and a blonde woman walks in, the same they passed earlier. What a weird coincidence, Raphael thinks to himself as he turns back to Simon. He’s honestly not sure what to say so he lets his instincts direct him, having trusted them since he started his Shadowhunter training. 

Raphael will deny the way his hand shakes as he reaches across the table to take Simon’s hand in his own. It’s warm and his skin soft. “I feel like I’m out of my depths,” he confesses, his eyes tracking the movement of his own thumb against Simon’s wrist. “I’m a Shadowhunter. I’ve been trained to control my emotions. But when I’m around you. When you--” Raphael lowers his voice. “When you joke around and call me Daddy? I feel things.”

“Sexy things?” Simon jokenly tosses out and Raphael’s stomach sinks. He gently shakes his head. 

“No. With Magnus’ help I looked online and I believe the term is asexual. I’m ace, Simon.”

“Oh.” Simon’s hand tightens in his own. “I dated someone years ago, before there were labels for it like there are today. She was demisexual and we made it work. I wanna put the work in, if that’s what you want too.”

Raphael lets out a long breath. “I think I do.” His cheeks heat up as he adds, “and I wanna be your Daddy.”

The look of unadulterated delight that crosses Simon’s face is worth feeling vulnerable, Raphael decides. His finger runs over the length of Simon’s middle finger. At the end, he gently presses at Simon’s pad, freezing when from under his finger nail, a long claw sprouts out. 

“Sorry,” Simon murmurs. “Warlock mark,” he says with an awkward chuckle. 

Raphael carefully runs his finger over each finger, stopping to press down on the end so he can watch each claw come out, completely fascinated. “It’s extraordinary,” Raphael breathes. “You have a weapon with you at all times.”

The look of worry falls away, leaving Simon chuckling. “Of course. I really shouldn’t be surprised that that’s the first thing that comes to mind.”

Raphael shrugs, pointing to himself. “Shadowhunter,” he says in explanation which serves to only make Simon laugh some more. 

The waitress drops off their meals and Raphael cuts the middle of his steak, making sure it’s prepared properly. “Do you have others?”

“Other what?” Simon asks, shoving a large piece of steak into his mouth. It’s undignified but because it’s  _ Simon _ , the show somehow only makes him smile. Simon’s making him soft. 

“Warlock marks.”

“I do,” Simon says, bringing his napkin up to wipe his mouth. “I’m lucky that both of mine are on me at all times and I don’t have to hide them like others do.”

“It’s a tail, isn’t it?”

Simon’s mouth opens in shock. “By Lucifer,” he murmurs. “Was that a joke? Are you secretly hilarious?”

Raphael rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop himself from smiling. This  _ is _ a date, afterall, he’s allowed to let himself have this. He’s allowed to feel joy. Magnus would be so proud of him right now. 

The rest of their meal passes just the same, exchanging stories and questions. Conversation stays light and happy and by the end, Raphael is pleasantly buzzed. Not from the wine but from the company. They share a chocolate cheesecake while watching the sky turn brilliant shades of blue, purple, and orange. Despite the gorgeous view, Raphael catches Simon looking at him more often than the sky. 

After Raphael has paid, he leads Simon back through to the elevator. Taking a steadying breath, Raphael reaches over and takes Simon’s hand, lacing their fingers together. When he looks up at Simon he finds the warlock looking back and Raphael’s heart stutters. 

When they walk outside, Raphael takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. Without second guessing himself, Raphael tugs Simon into the nearby alleyway. 

“What--” Simon gets out before Raphael is pushing him up against the wall and silencing him with a kiss. 

Kissing Simon is like nothing Raphael’s ever experienced before. The first time it scared him how much he liked it. And it scared him how much it unsettled him, how it felt like his control was being taken away. But now it’s different. Now he’s the one kissing Simon, he’s the one pinning Simon in place, keeping him still, controlling exactly what Simon’s allowed to have. He might not feel attracted to Simon sexually but this feeling of control is all consuming, lighting a fire of excitement in his belly. He likes knowing Simon depends on him for this pleasure, willing to submit and do just as Raphael wants. 

Simon’s hands go to Raphael’s chest. Raphael grabs his wrists, tugging his hands away and pinning them over Simon’s head. Simon whines and the noise makes Raphael  _ proud _ . He did that. He made Simon make that wanton sound of pleasure. 

Raphael pulls away, looking up at Simon and cataloging his face. A car passes by and it’s headlights make Simon’s eyes flash like that of a cat or a deer. “Beautiful,” Raphael whispers without even meaning to. He takes in the sight of Simon’s pink lips, his rosy cheeks, his messy hair. 

“I--” Simon licks his lips, clearing his throat. “I wasn’t sure things like this would be okay. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I’m not. I’m in control. I’ll tell you what you can and cannot do.”

Simon nods. “I trust you.” There’s a long pause and Raphael knows what’s missing. 

“Say it, Simon.”

“I trust you, Daddy.”

Raphael kisses him again because he can’t help himself. The feel of Simon’s lips against his own is addicting, making warmth pool in his chest. The intimacy of it, the closeness. He feels like he could sit here and kiss Simon all night. His tongue slides over Simon’s lips and Simon’s opens for him, giving Raphael everything he wants. 

His hands tighten around Simon’s wrists, his other hand going to Simon’s throat, holding his head exactly how he wants him. It’s a heady feeling, knowing such a powerful warlock trusts him like this, trusts Raphael enough to be vulnerable. 

Just as Simon would give up anything for Raphael, in this moment, Raphael knows he would  _ do  _ anything for Simon, give him  _ anything _ he asked. 

That’s when everything goes to shit. 

Simon makes a noise of pain and Raphael pulls back, making a questioning noise. His eyes widen when he sees red magic wrapped around Simon’s wrists, holding him up against the wall. 

“Simon, Simon, Simon,” a feminine voice says and Raphael’s blood goes cold. He goes for one of the blades inside his jacket as he turns towards the warlock at the entrance of the alley way but red magic wraps around his middle, holding his arms down against his sides. 

“Heidi,” Simon hisses out. “Release me right fucking now.”

Heidi, the blonde woman Raphael’s seen throughout the night smiles a wicked grin. “Nope, I don’t think I will. Someone is paying me a pretty penny to bring this Shadowhunter to him.”

“Don’t do this, Heidi,” Simon says and this time Raphael can hear the way he’s begging. He’s terrified. 

Raphael tries to wiggle enough to grab his blade but the magic ropes around him tighten further. He watches with wide eyes as Heidi holds up a fist, her smile deadly. Instead of talking to Heidi, Simon turns to Raphael. 

“Raphael.”

“Simon,” he gets out just before Heidi brings her fist down and the ropes around him seem to snap, knocking him unconscious. 


	10. Chapter 10

Raphael’s mouth is hot and insistent as it moves across Simon’s throat. Simon whimpers and the hands around his wrists tighten, making pleasure race through his body. He closes his eyes, savoring Raphael’s dominance which seems to come so naturally to him despite Simon being his first, well, anything. 

“Fuck,” he grits out through clenched teeth as Raphael nips at his throat, leaving a stinging bite behind. Raphael’s dark chuckle only serves to turn him on further, his cock so hard it aches. “Are you sure this is okay?” Simon asks, his eyes snapping open when Raphael pulls away. 

“Yes,” Raphael tells him simply. “I want this. I want to take care of you. I want to be the sole provider of your pleasure. Stop worrying, Simon, and focus on doing exactly as I say.”

Simon licks his lips, trying to hide the effect those words have. They wash over him like a warm rain. Yes, he’s more turned on then he’s ever been in his long life, but he’s also warm with affection. Raphael wants to take care of him. 

“Okay, Daddy.”

Simon shivers at the dark look that overcomes Raphael’s brown eyes. Prickles of pain runs through Simon’s spine as he leans harder against the brick wall. The wind howls around them and cold begins to seep into his bones, but he can ignore it in favor of focusing on the heat Raphael is giving him. 

A car passes the entrance of the alleyway and Simon feels his eyes shining. Raphael’s face softens before he’s pulling Simon down into another kiss. Simon moans, opening his lips for Raphael’s tongue. He still tastes like the chocolate cheesecake they’d had for dessert and Simon chases the taste, his body feeling like a live wire, sparking and lighting up for Raphael’s touch. 

When Simon opens his eyes again he’s in his London bedroom, the windows showing it’s still dark outside. He takes a brief moment to wonder how he got there but the thought leaves just as quickly when Raphael’s lips start wandering up the side of his jaw. His hands go to Raphael’s shoulders, holding on with everything he has as his head swims. 

Raphael shoves him back and he falls onto his bed with a grunt. When he looks up, he finds Raphael staring at him from the end of the bed. He feels exposed and flayed open, like Raphael truly  _ sees _ him. Simon’s hands go to his own belly, surprised to find himself in nothing but a pair of boxers. 

“Beautiful,” Raphael whispers softly as he crawls between Simon’s legs, his face so achingly soft that it takes Simon’s breath away. He feels like he can’t pull enough oxygen into his lungs and his chest feels on fire. His hands shake as they come up to Raphael’s sides, finding him just as bare as himself. His eyes greedily take in the black runes against his skin, wishing he had permission to kiss each and every one. 

“Are you mine, Simon?”

Simon’s heart picks up speed as he gazes up into Raphael’s eyes. His breath is growing even more labored and his head is growing light with how much he wants this, how much he  _ needs _ it. “Yes,” he breathes out with what little air he has. “Yes, Daddy. I’m yours.”

Simon’s vision starts to tunnel. Everything around him seems to blur and fade, the edges of his vision darkening. His focus is entirely on Raphael’s face as he hovers above Simon. Simon’s hand goes to Raphael’s face, just holding his cheek. Raphael turns, kissing the middle of his palm. 

“Simon,” Raphael says. Simon’s brows wrinkle as something pulls at his chest. He stares at Raphael, wondering why his voice doesn’t sound right. 

“Simon,” Raphael’s mouth says again but Simon’s positive that isn’t Raphael’s voice. He  _ knows _ that voice. 

Simon looks around, his body jolting when the room around them seems to shimmer. Fuck. This is a dream. He looks up at Raphael, finding the Shadowhunter looking scared. 

“God damn it, Simon, if you die I’ll never hear the end of it,” Simon hears as he gasps awake. His chest aches, his head aches, his eyes are watering, and everything is  _ wrong _ . 

Simon sits up, groaning as pain sears through him. He looks around with wide eyes, finding himself in the alleyway. He stands up, his magic coming to life at his fingertips as he looks for Raphael. Fuck. No. This isn’t right. What the fuck?

“Simon.”

Simon turns, his magic ready to fly but he freezes when he finds Magnus standing there with his hands up, his eyes wide. Simon’s hands fall at his sides. 

“What?”

“Where’s Raphael?”

Simon’s hands go to his hair, pulling at the strands. He feels himself crumbling, memories coming back to him all at once. “No,” he murmurs, more to himself than anyone else. “Oh, god.  _ No _ .”

“Simon?”

Simon’s vision swims as he looks to Magnus, willing his emotions to stay in check. “It’s all my fault,” he whispers, uncaring that his voice breaks. “Magnus. Asmodeus has Raphael.”

_ Raphael _

Raphael comes back to himself slowly, thoughts of Simon still fresh on his mind. Raphael’s chest feels near bursting with the feelings he has for the warlock. He clings to that feeling, trying to keep the vision of Simon below him in his mind. He’d been so trusting, so lovely, whispering about how he was Raphael’s. He wants Simon to be his and in that moment, nothing has been so sure to Raphael. He wants to do anything it takes to make Simon  _ his _ and be the Daddy that Simon deserves. 

The clicking of boots against cement makes Raphael fully stir. He opens his eyes, groaning low in his throat. He licks his lips, finding them dry. The door behind him opens and Raphael tenses. 

“Hello, Raphael,” a familiar voice says calmly and Raphael shudders. Asmodeus.

His parabatia’s dad walks until he’s stood in front of Raphael. He looks awful. Pale and far too thin, his cheekbones sticking out, patches of hair missing. He looks like he’s barely keeping himself alive. 

The smile that slowly spreads across his face is more along the lines of horror movie creepy than welcoming. Raphael glares back. 

“It’s wonderful to see you again. I’m so proud of my son for picking such a good parabatai for himself. I’ve seen the way you look out for him. You’re good for him.”

Raphael’s heart picks up speed, wondering what the hell’s going on and what does Asmodeus have planned. Asmodeus pulls up a chair to Raphael’s, crossing his leg over the other as he looks at Raphael. 

“You have to understand something. I love my son more than anyone on this Earth.”

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

Asmodeus’ eyes soften where they’re sunked into his skull. “There’s only one I love more. She’s ready to meet me,” he says, his face taking on a faraway look, like a love sick teenager. Raphael’s stomach sours. “I just need to do one more thing.”

“It won’t work. I’m not Magnus.”

“You’re not. But you do carry around a piece of Magnus’ soul with you.”

Raphael’s heart sinks to his feet, bile rising up at the back of his throat. “No.”

Asmodeus gives him a sad smile. “I’m afraid so.” Another set of heels steps through the door and a familiar blonde walks through. She gives him a wide smile as she comes to stand next to Asmodeus. 

“Heidi,” Asmodeus says, nodding his head. “Heidi here will be doing her best to use her magic to divide your soul from Magnus’. My hope is to keep you alive, Raphael.”

To Raphael’s horror, Heidi steps into his space, leaning down to put her mouth against his ear. He tries to lash out but his bindings are too strong. “My hope is that this kills you. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to comfort Simon for you.”

Heidi’s hands touch his temples. Her skin slowly grows translucent until he can see all of her veins and arteries, two huge horns sprout from her temples, curling around the back of her head. Raphael clenches his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to push the horror away. 

Pain flares in Raphael’s wrist where his parabatai mark is. He screams in anguish, trying to push against Heidi’s magic but it’s no use, he can feel it digging under his skin, wiggling its way into his body. 

“Fuck you,” he grits out, his eyes overflowing with his tears of desperation. Slowly, he can feel his connection to Magnus die, little by little. “No, no, no! Please don’t do this!”

Just past Heidi, Raphael can see Asmodeus stand up. Black smoke swirls around his feet. “It’s working,” he tells Heidi with excitement. “Keep going.”

Heidi’s brows wrinkle as she continues, pushing more magic into Raphael. His chest burns as that magic courses through him, slowly snipping his very being in half, separating himself with Magnus. It hurts. More than anything else Raphael has ever experienced. Like literal fire burning pieces of himself free. 

That black smokes circles around Asmodeus, higher and higher. As it passes, it seems to renew Asmodeus’ body, making him stronger and filling out his muscles again. “I can feel her! She’s finally here!”

“Don’t do this,” Raphael cries out, his throat raw from screaming. Sweat drips from his brow and he can feel his nose drip with blood. “Please,” he whimpers, the fight leaving him the more he loses his connection to Magnus. “Please.”

Raphael’s tears make it hard to see but even so he can tell when the ceremony is almost complete. The black smoke rises into the air above Asmodeus’ head before plunging down into his open mouth. A stillness goes through Asmodeus’ body. Those eyes turn towards Raphael. They blink and when they open again, they’re nothing but black. 

“Finish it,” the demon tells Heidi. And Heidi does. 

_ Simon _

Simon stares at the monitor, trying to piece together where Raphael could be. He runs his fingers through his hair again, not caring it must be a mess. 

“Simon, you’ve got to stop blaming yourself.”

Simon turns to Magnus. “It’s my fault. I’m letting my guilt fuel my drive,” he tries for a joke but it falls flat.

“We’ll find him.”

“I hope so.”

Magnus turns back to the monitor but suddenly his eyes widen. 

“What is it?”

Magnus looks at him. “I don’t know. I think--” Whatever he was gonna say is cut off with a scream of pain. Magnus falls to his knees, clutching his hand to his chest. “Raphael!”

Simon grabs onto Magnus’ shoulders as Magnus cries out again, his eyes filling with tears before falling down his cheeks. “Oh god,” Simon murmurs. 

“No, no, no,” Magnus murmurs, curling over himself like he might throw up. “No!”

Simon skims his magic over Magnus, finding nothing he  _ can do _ . He watches, helplessly, as Magnus lays on the ground in pain, a pain so deep that Simon’s almost positive Magnus has never felt anything similar. Simon’s not sure how long that lasts before it’s finally done. Magnus whimpers, finally sitting up. 

“Simon,” he chokes out brokenly, his make up smeared down his cheeks and Simon’s heart breaks. It fucking  _ shatters _ into a million pieces and he’s not sure it’ll ever mend. Magnus lifts his wrist and to Simon’s horror it’s blank. “Simon, Raphael’s dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware, there be spoilers below:
> 
> Before anyone comes and yells at me, check the tags :D There's no major character death <3


	11. Chapter 11

Simon stands completely frozen, watching as one of the strongest men he’s come to know literally crumbles before him. He feels helpless to do anything. The news hasn’t really sunk in. He can’t process it. It doesn’t feel real. 

_ It doesn’t feel real _ . 

That’s because it can’t be. “Magnus,” he gasps out, trying to get Magnus attention. “Oh my god. Magnus. Listen to me!”

Magnus looks up, his eyes shiny as tears continue to fall. “What?”

“Magnus. He’s not.” Magnus shakes his head, not wanting to listen. “He’s not dead!”

“I can’t feel him, Simon. Our rune is gone! He’s dead.”

“No, he’s not! Remember how I had Raphael be my tether? I can  _ feel _ him still.”

Magnus grips Simon’s shirt, his face and eyes desperate. His voice is so broken as he asks, “you can really feel him?”

Simon closes his eyes, focuses as best as he can to that teeny tiny tether he shares with Raphael, thankful that it hadn’t quite broke yet. Simon doesn’t really believe in a higher power, but in that moment he can’t help but wonder if just maybe the Angels aren’t quite as dickish as he’s always thought. “I can feel him,” he says carefully, his brows wrinkling. “It’s soft. Barely there. But it’s  _ there _ , Magnus. He’s alive.”

A broken sob leaves Magnus’ lips and his arms go around Simon’s waist. He falls forward against Simon’s belly. Simon puts his hand on the back of Magnus’ head, trying to comfort him as best as he can. They sit like that a moment, just trying to get their axle’s back on track. Magnus wipes his face as he stands back up onto his feet. 

“We’ve got work to do,” he announces, his face in a firm, determined line. And Simon agrees, ready to put in whatever it takes to save Raphael. 

~~~

Simon mixes the final ingredient into the cauldron, stirring it slowly until it stops smoking and turns a purple color. He carefully pours it into a glass, holding it up to Magnus. “Bottom’s up,” he says before tipping it back and drinking it. 

The taste is bitter and overwhelming, bringing tears to his eyes. But he dutifully swallows it all down. It sits heavily in his belly. 

“Well?” Magnus asks, his eyes hopeful. 

There’s a moment where nothing happens. 

Then a zing of energy courses through Simon as the potion does it’s job. The tether he shares with Raphael opens up. Where once it was nothing more than a fragile string, barely holding on, now it’s a three corded rope, tying them together. Simon lets out a gasp as the bond comes to life. 

“It worked,” he breathes out. He can feel the strange sensation of Raphael poking at the bond, almost curiously and then more desperately. He can feel that Raphael is hurt, mentally and physically. But he can also feel that Raphael is strong, prepared to fight as hard as he has to in order to make it out of this. Simon feels like he can finally  _ breathe _ for the first time since Raphael was taken. 

Magnus draws a tracking rune onto his palm before taking Simon’s hand. Simon brings the bond to the front of his mind, letting Magnus use their bond to track Raphael. It’s a long shot really. 

And yet. 

“I’ve got it,” Magnus says, letting go of Simon and turning to pick up his weapons. Nerves lick at Simon’s stomach as he prepares as well, worried about what they’re about to walk into.

_ Raphael _

Raphael pants through the pain, trying to focus on the scene in front of him but can barely keep his eyes open. Exhaustion threatens to pull him under at any moment. 

“Thank you, darling,” the demon says, the voice all wrong to Raphael’s ears. They turn to Heidi, giving her a sickly sweet smile before snapping their fingers. Between one blink and another Heidi is gone, nothing more than a puddle of blood on the ground where she once stood. 

The demon turns its lifeless black eyes towards Raphael and he shudders despite himself. All he can think about is how this is how he dies. He really hopes Magnus won’t be the one to find him like this. 

“Don’t worry,” the demon tells him, leaning down so they’re eye to eye. “I won’t kill you.”

“What a relief,” he deadpans. Raphael puts on a brave face but they both know it’s just a facade. He’s actually terrified. In that moment, he’s never felt more alone. 

But then something changes. 

There’s a warmth blooming in his chest. Desperation makes him claw at the connection. It’s familiar and he realizes with a start it’s his connection with Simon, the same one they’d made when they were tethered together. Raphael just barely holds back a sigh of relief. 

“You’re close to someone, someone I’d very much like to meet,” they tell Raphael, their finger touching his cheek. Bile rises up at the back of his throat. “My son.”

Raphael shakes his head, pulling it away so the demon’s no longer touching him. “Magnus is  _ not _ your son,” he spits out, glaring at the demon. 

The demon stands up straight, their lips curled into a snarl. “No, Magnus Bane is a brat who’s done everything in his power to keep me away from this plane. Annoying little thing really.”

“Then who?”

The demon smiles. “I’ve been locked away for so long. Please don’t hold his parentage against him, darling, he doesn’t even know I’m his parent.”

Raphael’s heart picks up speed. “No,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “You’re lying.”

“It’s why I encouraged Asmodeus to go to him for all his warlock needs. I got to see my son through him. What a beautiful warlock he’s become,” the demon says, their voice fucking  _ wistful _ , filling Raphael’s stomach with nausea. 

“No,” he says again, the exhaustion and stress of the day wearing him down. His eyes prickle unpleasantly. “Simon is  _ good _ .”

The demon shrugs. “For now. But who knows what sort of potential the boy has once he has proper motivation and a parental figure. Together we could do so much.”

“He won’t,” Raphael says, never being more sure of anything in his life. “Simon’s,” his voice breaks but he keeps going. “Simon’s one of the best men I know. It doesn’t matter that he shares your blood. He’s  _ good _ . And you can’t take that away.”

The demon’s face closes off, their brows wrinkling. “I think I’ve heard enough.” They squat down so they’re face to face again. Raphael tries to turn his face away but the demon grabs his chin, holding him still. 

Raphael holds his breath, watching almost transfixed as the demon opens its mouth, their lips barely a breath away from Raphael’s. Black smoke drifts out and between them. But Raphael can only hold his breath so long before his lips part and the blackness is sucked inside. There’s a moment of blind panic before Raphael settles and the darkness overtakes him. 

_ Simon _

“Are you sure this is right?” Simon asks, looking around the beach, finding nothing but crashing waves. 

“Over here,” Magnus calls, leading Simon to a large grate where water pours into the water. He uses his angel blade to cut the bars free before walking inside. They both have to hunch forward slightly in order to walk through. 

“Are we close?”

“By the Angel,” Magnus groans. “You’re like a child on a long car ride.”

Simon hums. “Do Shadowhunters even know what long car rides are like? Do you go on road trips in Idris?”

“Simon.”

“Right. Focus on the task at hand. Sorry. I’m just nervous. And when I’m nervous I talk.”

Magnus sighs, finding another grate, this one overhead. This one moves without having to use his angel blade and he’s careful as he slides it to the side. Magnus pulls himself up before reaching down and taking Simon’s hand, helping him out as well. They stand up, looking around at the empty room, the walls and floor are all made of cement. They must be in a warehouse or a basement. 

“This way,” Magnus whispers, pulling out his angel blade and stalking forward. Simon focuses inward as they move, feeling that bond with Raphael, reassuring that everything is okay. There was a spike of  _ something _ on the way here but Simon’s not sure what. He just hopes they find him soon. 

Magnus enters the room first. Simon hears a blade hit the ground and a sob of relief before he’s rushing in behind Magnus. Magnus is there, kneeling on the ground, hugging Raphael. He uses his steele to unlock Raphael’s hand.

“Oh my god,” Simon says, his hands over his mouth, his eyes suspiciously wet. “Raphael.”

He steps over to Raphael but instead of the hug or words of joy he was expecting, Raphael picks up Magnus’ dropped blade. With speed that Simon’s rarely seen before, Raphael is behind him, one arm around his torso, pinning his arms down, the other bringing the blade to Simon’s throat. 

Simon gulps. 

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” he gasps out, his eyes wide as he stares at Magnus. 

Magnus raises his hands. “His eyes, Simon,” he says gently. “They’re black.”

Fuck. 


	12. Chapter 12

Simon’s body shakes, his eyes squeezing shut so tight he sees spots. He takes a deep breath, trying to get his heart to stop pounding against his ribs. 

“Raphael,” he murmurs, his voice breaking. The blade at his throat burns his skin. He winces. 

“Raphael,” Magnus says softly, his hands raised towards Raphael. “Fight this.”

Simon wiggles one of his hands free from Raphael’s grip and it comes up to hold onto Raphael’s wrist. His fingers tighten as he swallows thickly. 

As subtly as possible, Simon begins moving his free hand, using his magic to open a portal. Just before the portal is complete, someone steps into the doorway. Confusion makes him freeze.

“Asmodeus?” leaves Simon’s throat. 

Asmodeus’ face splits into a wide smile. His eyes never leave Simon’s. “Son,” he says, his eyes lighting up as he looks Simon up and down. The look makes Simon shudder uncomfortably.

Those eyes leave Simon long enough to look at Magnus, giving him a distasteful sneer, the final confirmation Simon needs that something is wrong, very, very wrong. 

Simon turns to Magnus, giving him a look and without a word, Magnus moves into Simon’s space just as Simon finishes creating a portal right below his feet. With his hand on Raphael and the other reaching out and holding onto Magnus’ shirt, they fall. The portal closes behind them as they tumble to the ground in front of the New York Institute. 

_ Raphael _

Raphael fights. He kicks and he screams and he lashes out, trying with all his might to take back control. But nothing works. He’s trapped within his own mind, watching his body fall to the ground. His own hands grab his angel blade, holding it up towards Simon. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” his own voice says but it’s not  _ him _ . 

Simon falls over himself in order to stand and in any other situation Raphael would be amused, but right now he’s terrified of what his own hands plan on doing.  _ Please _ , he screams, uselessly begging for control. 

“Raphael,” Magnus says, stepping between Raphael and Simon. “Raphael, it’s me. Your  _ parabatai _ . Please. You have  _ got _ to fight this.”

_ I’m trying, hermano. I’m trying _ . 

Frustration bubbles up in Raphael and he internally grits his teeth and tries like hell to open his hand and drop the blade. To his utter surprise, the sound of it clattering to the ground hits his ears. Both Simon’s and Magnus’ eyes widen. 

“That’s it,” Magnus says, taking another step forward. “That’s it, Raphael. Fight. It’s us and you’d never want to hurt us.”

He loses the grip he had and his body lunges forward, tackling Magnus to the ground. He straddles Magnus, his hands going to Magnus’ throat. He screams, trying to fight for control again. His best friend’s face turns a bright red as his hands tighten. 

That’s when Simon steps into his line of sight. Green magic blasts him in the chest, throwing him off of Magnus and onto his back. His body tries to stand but a green web holds him to the ground. His body lashes out but the restraints tighten even further. 

“Okay,” Simon’s voice gently says. “I’m going to try something. And I don’t know if it’s going to work but I’m gonna try it anyway.”

“Simon, be careful,” Magnus wheezes out, his voice broken and hoarse. Raphael’s heart hurts knowing he was the one to do that. He wants to give up. He wants to just let himself fall fully into the darkness. But that feeling only lasts a second. Because then Simon’s face is in his line of sight. 

“Raphael. I need you to fight,” Simon says, his voice raw. There’s a weight on Raphael’s chest as Simon sits on him, still holding him down. His knees are planted on each of his shoulders, making sure he can’t lash out or hurt anyone. One hand goes to Raphael’s chest, right over his heart and the other goes to his face, holding his mouth open. 

Simon’s eyes shine, reflecting the light just like the night of their date and the memory gives Raphael more reason to fight. Simon’s hands light up with green. Raphael feels Simon’s magic. It’s so different from Heidi’s. It’s warm and welcoming and curls around him, making him feel safe for the first time since being captured. 

Like a fist curling around his hand, Simon’s magic cradles the tether they share. And then Simon tugs. 

“Raphael. Push. As hard as you can. Push the blackness out.” 

And Raphael tries. He can feel the darkness swirling inside of him, controlling his body. The tightness around the tether is like a warm beacon, helping him, giving him strength. He stares at Simon’s face, willing his strength to be enough. 

Raphael’s body tingles and his eyes dart down, finding his runes all beginning to glow as Simon’s magic somehow activates them for him. His throat burns as he begins to choke, his eyes filling with tears. 

_ I can’t do it _ . 

“Raphael,” Simon grits out through clenched teeth. “Keep going.” And then, so softly Raphael barely hears, Simon adds, “please, Daddy.”

Power surges through Raphael’s body. Angelic strength, equilibrium,  _ fearless _ . He  _ fights _ until he has control again. He turns onto his side, turning his head and throws up. It’s black and sticky and disgusting as he coughs through it, spitting out every ounce of that blackness that’d taken control. 

Once it’s all out, he turns back over, sweat covering his brow, his head light as he comes back to himself. He groans in discomfort at the weight against his chest.

“Raphael?”

Raphael opens his eyes, nodding his head slowly. 

Simon is pulling him up so his face is buried against Simon’s chest. His hands go around Simon’s back. Another person comes alongside him, holding him tight and he realizes it’s Magnus. It’s jarring. To not  _ feel _ him. 

“I’m okay,” he whispers before he promptly passes out. 

~~~

Raphael wakes up to the sound of voices murmuring around him. He has a moment of blind panic, thinking it’s Asmodeus or Heidi but then he remembers. He’s safe. 

“It’s weird,” he hears Magnus say from above him, making him realize his head is pillowed in Magnus’ lap as Magnus gently strokes his hair. “He’s right here. I can see him with my own eyes. But it still feels like he’s gone.”

There’s a hum of acknowledgement from across the room. “Us Downworlders don’t know a great deal about the parabatai bond. Just stories about codependency.”

Raphael can hear the smile in Magnus’ voice. “Something like that. When we’re fighting it’s like we’re fighting as one. A true heavenly weapon against demons,” Magnus says with a snort. “But it’s more than that. We shared pieces of ourselves. Wherever he goes, I will follow. His people will be my people. It’s. I honestly have no words to describe it that’ll make you understand other than I would give my dying breath for Raphael. And even though I’m not the easiest person to love, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would do the same for me.”

Raphael opens his eyes, blinking away the brightness. “You always butcher our oath,” Raphael says, having to turn his head away and cough. Magnus’ hand stops as he helps Raphael sit up, running his back as he does. “I’m fine.”

Magnus wraps Raphael into his arms, his hand at the back of his head, pulling him against his chest. “Raphael,” he breathes. “I felt you  _ die _ .”

Raphael shakes his head, pulling back. “It wasn’t me that died, Magnus. Heidi used her magic to break our bond apart. She killed the part of you I carried.”

Magnus’ arms tighten and Raphael snakes his own around Magnus in turn. They sit like that in silence, holding each other, content just to feel that they’re both alive and okay. 

A throat clears across the room and Raphael pulls back. Simon stands there, awkwardly swaying as he gestures towards the door. Raphael’s chest is flooded with emotion. “Don’t go,” he breathes out. 

Simon puts his hands back into his pockets. “Okay,” he says back, looking almost shy, like he’s  _ intruding _ . 

“Simon. I want you to stay. You--” he shakes his head. “Simon, you  _ saved _ me.”

Simon shakes his head quickly, his eyes widening. “No. I might have helped you but Raphael, don’t confuse what happened out there. You saved yourself.”

“We gave you a reason to fight but that battle was won by you. I’ve been saying it for years,” Magnus says lightly despite the way his words are tearing a whole inside Raphael’s chest. “You’re one of the strongest people I know and once you put your mind to it, there’s nothing that can stop you.”

Raphael is speechless. Through the chaos going on inside his head, there’s one steady presence within him, soothing him, warming him and letting him know everything is okay. It’s the only thing that’s keeping him in control right now. His eyes flit up to meet Simon’s and his heart stutters. 

The emotion he finds there threatens to be his undoing. 

“Simon,” he whispers, that tether inside of him flaring with emotion and making him suck in a sharp breath. 

“Not that I want to, but I think that’s my queue to leave.”

“Wait,” Raphael says, grabbing Magnus’ wrist as he gets up from the bed. “I want you to stay too. I need you both here to get through this.”

Magnus gets back on the bed, sitting beside Raphael as Simon slips out of his shoes. Simon comes and sits pretzel style in front of him. With a tentative hand, Simon reaches out and takes one of Raphael’s hands. 

“It’s about your father,” Raphael starts slowly. “He hired Heidi.”

“I’ll kill her,” Simon mutters under his breath and Raphael can  _ feel _ the rage Simon is feeling on his behalf. It’s overwhelming, both knowing the levels that Simon would go for him and just  _ feeling _ so much coming from the tether. It’s so strong right now and he has no doubt it goes both ways. 

“You don’t have to. The demon killed her.”

“The demon is free?” Magnus asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Yes. It’s free and it’s--” Raphael stops and uses his free hand to take Magnus’. He squeezes before looking his brother in the eyes. “The demon is possessing your father’s body.” Magnus looks away as tears well up in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus nods his head, getting himself composed. “We’ll figure this out. We’ll figure a way to stop him and this demon.”

“There’s another thing,” Raphael murmurs, his heart spiking. Simon’s hand tightens in response to what must be coming through the tether, an array of mismatched emotions. “It’s about you, Simon. Do you know who your demon parent is?”

Confusion and worry hit Raphael in the chest, confirming what the demon said about Simon not knowing. “I’ve never met them. My mother didn’t even know I was a warlock until I told her later in life since my warlock marks were nothing noticeable and I was careful to hide my magic from her at a young age. She never even knew--” His voice drifts off as he looks away. Then he shakes his head, seeming to come back to himself. “To answer your question no, I don’t know who they are.”

There’s a long moment where silence consumes the room, the tension slowly rising. Finally, Magnus breaks it. “You’re not trying to say?”

“No,” Simon gets out. “No. You’re wrong.”

Panic mixed with self-hatred steal Raphael’s breath as the tether is flooded with Simon’s emotions. “Hey, breathe,” Raphael tells him and Simon sucks in a sharp breath. 

“Raphael, are you sure?”

Simon points at Raphael, his face growing more and more pale. “Oh gods, that’s why the demon looked at me and called me son. No, I can’t be their kid. They can’t be my parent. They’re so  _ evil _ . Oh my god, what if  _ I’m _ evil too? What if it runs in my blood?”

Raphael tugs his hands free in order to cup Simon’s face. Simon’s mouth snaps shut, his eyes widening as he locks eyes with Raphael. A hand squeezes Raphael’s shoulder as Magnus gets up and quietly leaves the room. 

“Listen to me,” Raphael says carefully, his voice shaking as he speaks. “Simon, you are  _ good _ .” He makes a shushing sound when Simon tries to talk and Simon settles. He can feel the way Simon is hanging on his every word so he chooses his words carefully. He wants to tell Simon how good he is, how proud he is of the person Simon chooses to be, how happy he makes Raphael. He wants to wax poetic about the kind of person Simon is until he can’t help but believe Raphael. But what comes out instead is, “Simon, I love you.”

Raphael lets out a long breath, his chest near bursting with warmth. “You? You love me?  _ Me? _ ” The tips of Raphael’s lips curl up as he nods. “Are you  _ serious _ right now? Because I swear to god, Raphael, if you change your mind later and decide this was an endorphin high mistake I might literally--”

Raphael cuts Simon off by kissing his lips. 

His hands are still holding Simon’s face as their lips meet. Simon tries to keep talking but quickly stops, sinking into the kiss. His hands come up to Raphael’s shoulders, holding on. Raphael opens his mouth and makes an encouraging sound when Simon’s tongue comes out and touches his own. 

Somehow it gets better, the more he kisses Simon. He learns what feels the best, what makes Simon whimper, what makes him the most comfortable. He also just  _ likes _ it. And better yet, he likes knowing  _ Simon _ likes it. 

And by the Angel, he does. 

Raphael’s heart picks up speed, feeling the way Simon reacts to his kisses. Simon loves it, embraces it, is  _ aroused _ by them. It’s like Raphael suddenly has a built in map to making Simon feel good and he wants to use it, wants to pin Simon to the bed, just like his dream and make Simon moan and writhe beneath him. 

He pulls back in order to copy the dream, his lips finding Simon’s jaw. He remembers the breathy noise Simon had made in his dream when his teeth had scrapped his skin and he tries it now. Simon’s breath hitches and it feels like a reward. He did that, he can break such a powerful man down. 

“Simon,” he whispers into Simon’s ear before kissing the lobe gently and pulling back in order to see Simon’s face. Simon’s pupils are blown wide with lust, his cheeks rosy, his lips open as he breathes heavily. “I love you,” he says again, needing Simon  _ to know _ . 

“Daddy, I love you, too,” Simon says as a surge of love and affection goes through the tether. Raphael  _ knew _ that, could feel it. But there’s something about hearing it come from Simon’s lips that makes it real. His skin breaks out into goosebumps. 

“I know we have so much to do, so much to plan,” Raphael says, his voice almost desperate. His thumbs caress Simon’s cheek. “But can I make you feel good? I just. I need.”

“Anything,” Simon says without missing a beat. “I’ll take anything you want to give me. And I’ll give you anything you ask.”

“I just need to know that I can,” Raphael confesses. “I just need a little slice of control.”

“You have it,” Simon tells him seriously. “You have  _ me. _ ”

Raphael kisses him again, this time their teeth clash with the force of it before his tongue is sliding between Simon’s lips and into his mouth. He pushes forward until Simon’s laying on his back with Raphael between his thighs. Simon’s dick is hard against Raphael’s hip and pride wells up inside his chest. 

“Fuck,” Simon murmurs, tossing his head back against the sheets. Raphael’s struck with how  _ beautiful _ he finds Simon. “I can feel how proud you are to have made me hard,” Simon says carefully, his cheeks turning even redder. “And that’s somehow turning me on even more. Knowing you’re proud of what you do to me. How you take pleasure in taking me apart. Gods. This is just like my dream.”

Raphael pauses. “You had a dream like this?”

“Yeah,” Simon breathes out, his hips writhing against the bed, like he can’t help himself, like he’s already out of control from the little they’ve already done. “I had a dream you asked me to be yours.”

“And you said yes.”

“Yes. Because it’s true. I’m already yours. I think I have been since the day you threw a knife in my ass.”

Raphael snorts, shaking his head at Simon. “I’ll never hear the end of that,” he says as his hands move under Simon’s shirt, over his belly and ribs just to see the warlock squirm. 

“Never,” Simon says, his eyes closing in pleasure from the things Raphael’s hands are doing. He’s struck with the knowledge that Simon could stop him at any moment. He’s proven himself time and time again with how powerful his magic is. He could easily throw Raphael aside or pin him down with his magic. And yet he lays here, taking everything Raphael wants to give him. 

The feeling of power and control runs through him, caressing his skin like a warm blanket. With every passing moment he feels more like himself, more like the Raphael Santiago Simon and Magnus had spoken about. 

“Put your hands over your head,” he tells Simon, delighted when Simon listens straight away. He’s all stretched out and  _ vulnerable _ for Raphael. “Do you want me to make you come?”

Simon whimpers and the noise is  _ beautiful _ , better than any song he’s ever listened to. “Yes,” Simon gets out, his voice breathy and having a far away quality to it. “Please, Daddy.”

And that name. That name that fills him with warmth and power and affection. He wants to be the best Daddy for Simon. Wants to make Simon feel good and make Simon see how good he truly is. 

Raphael takes a deep breath before sliding his hands into Simon’s pants. He strokes Simon’s cock, following the feelings coming through the teether. Simon’s body tenses beneath him as he grows closer to his orgasm. He sits back and watches, enjoying the beautiful display before him. 

“Daddy,” Simon says through clenched teeth. “Please. I’m so close.”

“Not yet,” Raphael tells him, a thrill going through his belly. He can tell Simon no and he knows without a doubt Simon will do whatever it takes to obey. He holds this entire exchange within his hands. He holds Simon’s pleasure. 

“Fuck. I can’t. I can’t.”

“You can,” Raphael says gently, leaning down and kissing Simon’s chin. Then his nose. Then his lips. It’s enough of a distraction that Simon pulls his orgasm back, doing as Raphael’s asked. He’s so good and Raphael needs him to know. “Good boy. So good for me. Simon, you’re perfect.”

The whimper Simon makes this time is broken and barely there. His body is pulled tight like a rubber band ready to snap. And Raphael wants to watch him break. 

“Come for Daddy, Simon.”

Simon cries out and the bond they share is suddenly overwhelmed with pleasure and amazement and delight and satisfaction. It steals Raphael’s breath from his lungs even as the image of Simon coming does the same. 

He pulls his hand from Simon’s pants. Simon’s hands come up and Raphael’s clean hand snags it, bring it to his face and kissing the middle of Simon’s palm. There’s a bone deep calm in his chest as satisfaction makes him warm all over. He’s no longer sure which emotions are his and which are Simon’s but that’s okay because right now they’re feeling the same things. 

Raphael stands, laying a kiss to Simon’s nose before walking to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he comes back, Simon’s in the same exact spot he left him in. It makes Raphael smile so wide his cheeks hurt. For a moment, he thought he’d lost this, lost it all. 

“Hey,” Simon whispers, turning on his side. “No harshing the afterglow.”

Raphael snorts, getting back into the bed, pulling Simon along until their heads are on the pillows. Simon waves his hand over himself, little sparks of green lighting up and changing his pants into clean boxers. Simon gives him a cheeky grin before putting his head on Raphael’s chest. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Raphael whispers. Simon snaps his fingers and the lights go out. Raphael’s arms tighten around him. 

“I kinda don’t wanna leave this room for a very long time,” Simon whispers. “I don’t know if I can face what’s out there.”

“You can,” Raphael tells him, believing it wholeheartedly. “Remember what I told you that day in the park? You’re strong and fast and smart. I know it now more than I did then. I’ve seen you, Simon.”

Simon sucks in a shaky breath. “I’ll try my best to believe you, Daddy.”

Raphael kisses the top of Simon’s head. “I’ll be there to remind you, bebe. But for right now I’d really just like to hold you.”

Simon agrees with a little nod. “I have no idea what tomorrow will bring,” he says softly. “But I’ll keep living like I always have, enjoying the time I have. The rest we’ll face together.”


	13. Chapter 13

Simon looks around the room, wondering where he is. The walls are all stone, ornaments of red and gold hanging from the windows. It reminds him of a castle. 

There’s a feeling at the back of his head, letting him know this isn’t quite real. No. It’s a dream. He continues to walk down the hall, letting the dream lead him. Simon steps through a doorway at the end of the hall, his stomach sinking at the figure he finds. 

“Hello, Simon,” they say, their leathery face stretching out into a smile. Their skin is a dark maroon, their horns high and proud. They have two large, bat-like wings behind their back. 

Simon swallows, his heart picking up speed. “How are you doing this?”

“It’s one of the gifts we share,” the demon says proudly. “Dream walking with the ones we love.”

“You don’t love me,” Simon spits out. “You’re a demon.”

“Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I’m incapable of love, Simon. You’re my son. It’s impossible for me not to love you.” The demon stands from where it’s been seated on the throne and Simon can’t stop himself from reacting, flinching back. “Oh,” the demon breathes. “Are you afraid?”

Simon’s eyes widen. “Yeah,” he says seriously. “Of fucking course I’m afraid. You’re a  _ demon _ . And not your average demon, no. You’re a fucking greater demon’s who’s been locked away because you were so evil and so powerful that you couldn’t be killed. So no, I don’t think I’m overreacting by thinking just maybe you might not be the warm and fuzzy parent you think you are.”

“You’re remarkable,” the demon says after a long pause, their eyes lighting up as they take Simon in. “I can’t wait to sit down with you in the real world.” They gesture towards their chest. “I won’t quite look like this but you’ll know it’s me, that’s all that matters.”

Simon crosses his arms over his chest, feeling his stomach go icy cold. “I don’t wanna meet you. I don’t wanna have anything to do with you!”

The demon tilts their head. “Well why not? Simon, with my help you could be more powerful than you ever thought possible. You could be  _ royalty _ .”

“I don’t want power. I don’t want  _ any _ of this. You’re. The things you’ve  _ done _ . It makes me sick to my stomach.” 

With a shrug the demon continues, “you’re being overdramatic, darling. Soon enough a little blood shed will be an average Tuesday. Simon, think about whose blood runs through your veins. Stop letting the Shadowhunters control you and use you. You’re not their plaything.”

Simon’s eyes narrow. “I can’t see the future,” he says carefully. “But I  _ will _ be the one to bring you down. Once and for all.”

Simon gasps awake from his dream, sitting up in bed. He looks over, finding the bed beside him empty. Before panic can take over, the door to Raphael’s bedroom opens and Raphael is slipping inside. 

“Sorry,” Raphael says, looking almost guilty. “I woke up in the middle of the night and got freaked out by not being able to feel Magnus. So I went and slept in his room.”

“Oh. That must be hard, huh? Not being able to feel him anymore.”

Raphael lets out a long sigh before crawling into bed. They both lay on their sides facing each other, their hands finding each other between them. Raphael stares at their hands as he plays with Simon’s fingers, gently pressing down on the tips and forcing his claws out, over and over and over. 

“It’s hard,” Raphael confesses. “I hate it.” Simon waits silently for Raphael to continue. “Mundanes have this thing called a phantom limb. It’s where an amputee still feels pain in the limb that isn’t even there.”

Simon can feel Raphael’s pain through the tether. How Raphael  _ longs _ for Magnus in a way Simon will never quite understand. It breaks his heart. 

“I woke up last night in a blind panic because I thought he was dead,” Raphael whispers, his voice breaking. “I feel like a part of me has died right along with our parabatai bond. I don’t know if I can take this.”

Simon doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to fix this. Mostly because he’s almost positive he can’t. So instead, he leans in closer until they can hold each other. That’ll have to be enough for now. 

~~~

The afternoon light streams into the library as Simon continues to pour over texts. He rubs at his eyes a moment before focusing back at the words in front of him. His heart begins to race and his palms sweat. He looks around, not seeing a reason for his anxiety before he realizes it’s not his own he’s feeling. He takes a deep breath, trying to push the tether down as much as he can in order to focus but it’s no use. 

The anxiety slowly fades back down, no doubt Raphael seeing Magnus in person, seeing that he’s alive and well. Simon leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. 

He’s not sure how much longer he can take this, especially knowing how much worse it must be for Raphael. 

Simon’s done not taking names. He’s tired of not asking questions. It’s time he took life by the horns and  _ did _ something. With his mind made up, he gives Underhill a call. 

~~~

“Are you sure about this, Simon?”

“Positive,” he tells Underhill as they walk through the Institute. Simon rubs at the center of his chest as they move, trying to soothe the ache he’s feeling there despite the fact that he  _ knows _ there’s only one thing that will. “They’re in here.”

They step into the wide stone room that’s used for training. In the middle is a circle with the parabatai rune in the middle of it. Apparently this is where many young Shadowhunters tie their souls together with another. And this is hopefully where Simon’s about to witness it happen again. 

“Thanks for meeting me here,” Simon calls out to Raphael and Magnus who’re standing around looking mostly confused. 

“What’s going on, Simon?” Raphael asks slowly, his eyes darting between Simon and Underhill. 

“The High Warlock of Brooklyn is here to perform a little ceremony,” Simon tells them. “And only for the small price of my London apartment.”

“You’ll have to give us a little more because you’re still not making any sense, Simon,” Magnus says, looking at him for a long moment. “Are you getting enough sleep? You don’t look okay.”

“First of all, rude. Second of all, I’m fine. This isn’t about me it’s about you two.”

“Us?”

Underhill sighs. “Simon here asked me to come to the Institute to transfer a bond. The one he shares with Raphael.”

“What?” Raphael gets out, his eyes hurt before he’s looking away, putting up those thick, steel walls. But Simon can feel his hurt and confusion. 

“I’ll be transferring it so you’re sharing it with Magnus instead.”

Magnus steps forward, warily looking at Underhill. “You can do that?”

“That’s the plan.”

Now Simon feels hope and he latches onto it, feeling it bloom open like a flower in spring. He wants to shield it and let it grow before something else comes close and stomps it out. 

“It won’t be exactly like your parabatai bond,” Simon says quickly, wanting them to understand. “But it’s the closest thing to it that I could find. I’ll have to come by about once a month with a potion for you both to drink to keep it boosted. But yeah. You’ll be able to feel each other again.”

There’s a moment where everyone is silent. Simon can feel the war going on inside of Raphael. He looks to Magnus who gives him a little nod, pulling Underhill to the side and giving them a moment. 

“Hey,” he says gently. “I can feel that you’re freaking out.”

“I’m not,” Raphael says before snorting. “Okay, I am.” Simon lets out a little noise of surprise when Raphael tugs him into a hug. Simon sinks into it, wrapping his arms around Raphael’s back. He takes a deep breath, smelling Raphael’s aftershave. It’s soothing in a weird way. 

“Talk to me, what’s going through your head?”

“I feel guilty. For being so happy to lose my connection with you.”

Simon’s lips tick up. “I think we can work through that,” he tells Raphael. “I’m excited to have my emotions be mine again if I’m honest. Feels a little crowded in my chest at the moment.”

Raphael snorts. And then he turns his head enough so he can kiss the center of Simon’s chest. Affection flares so hot that Simon’s not entirely sure if it’s his or Raphael’s, but in this moment he doesn’t care. 

“Feeling better?” Raphael nods. “Good. Let’s get you out of my hair and back into Magnus’.”

“Ass,” Raphael says with a snort. 

“Your ass, Daddy,” Simon sasses back. He’s taken by surprise for a second time that day as Raphael kisses his lips. It’s a quick press of lips against lips but it’s still enough to leave Simon smiling, secretly aching for more. 

It doesn’t take long after that for Raphael and Magnus to stand in the same place they’d originally taken their parabatai oath. Ever the dramatics, they hold hands, restating their oath once more as Underhill performs the transfer. The only difference is this time, Simon is in the middle with one hand on their joined hands, the other on Magnus’ chest. 

Simon’s knees go weak as the transfer completes. He lets go of them both, falling back against Underhill at the sheer force of it. Underhill helps him sit on the ground and Simon watches as Magnus and Raphael embrace in front of him. 

“I can feel you. Oh my god, Magnus, I can feel you again.”

Magnus has tears in his eyes as he holds Raphael, relief and joy easy to see on their faces. Simon’s hand goes to his own chest, feeling lonely for a moment before two sets of eyes land on him. He’s suddenly engulfed in a hug from both sides as a pair of Shadowhunters give him their thanks. He might not be able to feel Raphael but he still knows he’s there for him, just as Simon’s there right back. 

For this tiny moment, things feel like they’re gonna be alright. 

“I hate to break up the happy moment,” Underhill says awkwardly, bouncing from foot to foot. “But I might have found something in regards to our bigger problem.”

Right. Simon’s demon parent. Gotta deal with that still. He’d groan if he wasn’t trying to be a mature warlock. 

“What’ve you got?” he asks instead. 

“It’s something you’ll have to read for yourself. A complicated ritual that’ll summon and hold a demon for a short time. I’m still working on a way to kill it once it’s trapped.” Underhill waves at them. “It’ll be similar to the last ritual that sealed the demon away. We’ll need all hands on deck.”

“Consider it done,” Magnus says with a determined nod. 

“As soon as I find out more I’ll let you all know. Until then stay safe.”

“You too, Underhill,” Simon says. “And thank you.”

Underhill nods as he steps out of the training room. They’re still a heap on the floor, holding each other when Caterina walks in. She stares at them before asking, “do I even wanna know?”

Raphael’s eyes practically sparkle as he answers, “probably not.”

She nods. “Better not to ask, that way I can’t be questioned later,” she says before walking right back out. It leaves them all breathless with laughter. Fuck, they’ve got so much to do, so much to plan. But Simon’s lived a long time and learned not to take these moments for granted. So for this second, he stays in the present, enjoying the way his side aches from laughing and how he doesn’t  _ feel _ Raphael’s joy but instead gets to see it written across his face. The way that ever present anxiety is gone now that Raphael can feel his parabatai again. For this second, Simon lets himself sink into it, knowing it’ll give him all the more reason to fight when the time comes. 


	14. Chapter 14

Raphael ducks as the bo staff swings through the air towards him, dodging the blow. From here he swiftly strikes out, hitting the side of Magnus’ calf, making him cry out. Raphael tumble rolls forward, dodging the bo staff again. He quickly hops up to his feet, facing Magnus like he wasn’t just rolling around on the ground. His heart is racing, his chest is heaving, and his hair is sweaty. 

It’s perfect. 

A smile plays at his lips as they train, trading blows and dodges. And the entire time, he can  _ feel _ Magnus. It’s not the same as the parabatai bond. They’re not one as they’re fighting. But now he can throw emotions through the bond. As they train, they begin to learn their own language. A spike of adrenaline feeling means danger is near. A calm, cooling sensation is everything is okay. Soon enough they’ll be able to communicate down to ‘on your right’ and nuances like that, Raphael is sure of it. 

“So are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?” Magnus asks, twirling his bo staff between his hands as they circle each other. 

“I don’t see an elephant. Only a Shadowhunter who’s obviously been slacking on their training.”

Magnus snorts before poking his staff into Raphael’s space. Raphael gives an annoyed grunt as he swings his own staff, knocking Magnus’ away. 

“I’m serious, Raphael. Simon’s not sleeping. He looks like he’s lost some weight too. What’s going on with him? Did he take losing your bond that hard?”

“No,” Raphael says seriously, his heart picking up speed. “He said he didn’t mind losing it. Said it was nice to have his emotions to himself again.” 

Raphael takes off running straight towards Magnus, catching him off guard. Magnus backpedals, blocking each of Raphael’s blows until his back hits a pillar. Raphael shoves his staff against Magnus’ chest, pinning him there. “Then what is it?”

Raphael shoves off, turning around and walking back towards the middle of the training room. “He’s been having nightmares,” he tells Magnus with a shrug. “I think he’s gonna keep having them until we figure out our next move.”

“It’s only been a week,” Magnus says gently, setting the end of his bo staff against the ground and leaning against it. “We’ll find something, I know we will.”

Raphael lets out a long breath. Magnus sends that soothing, cool sensation through the bond and Raphael can’t help but smile, feeling whole again. Raphael sets his own staff down on the ground before following it down. He stretches his legs out in front of him, stretching out his overused muscles to keep them from cramping when he starts to cool down. Magnus joins him. 

“Have you spoken to the werewolf lately?”

Magnus raises his brow. “The werewolf has a name, Raphael.”

“Sure he does.”

“And why yes, I have.” Magnus stretches forward, putting his forehead against his knees in a way Raphael’s never been able to, not without a flexibility rune at least. “He said he and his pack are ready to help however possible to take care of this demon.”

“That’s good,” Raphael says slowly. “But I was thinking more personally.”

Magnus turns his head, looking at Raphael long and hard. “You’re asking me about my  _ love life _ ?”

“Nope. I changed my mind. I don’t wanna know.”

Magnus laughs and it lights up his entire face. Raphael’s  _ happy _ . He’s happy and safe and whole and by the Angels, in  _ love _ . When the fuck did this happen? He doesn’t even complain when he has to listen to Magnus talk about how wonderful Alec is and how he’s got a good feeling about this one. 

“I’m happy for you,” he says softly as they both stand up, stretching out their upper body next. “If anyone deserves a happily ever after it’s you, Magnus.”

Magnus’ eyes soften. “So do you, Raphael. I’ve got a good feeling about this Simon fellow. He’s good for you.”

“Do you really think we’ll get that?” Raphael asks, looking away. “A happy ending in all this?”

A warm hand touches the side of his neck and Raphael’s forced to look into his parabtai’s eyes. “I do. I really, really do.” And just maybe with Magnus and Simon’s help, Raphael can believe too. 

~~~

A knock at the door makes Raphael raise his head from his book. He takes a deep breath, trying to get his heart to stop racing. He stands up and sets his book down before walking to his door and opening it up. 

“Hi,” Simon says with a warm but tired smile. 

Raphael opens the door wide enough to let him in, taking a moment to look Simon over. Magnus is right, he’s not looking well. Simon’s skin is too pale, his eyes a bit too hollow. There are dark bags under his eyes and Raphael’s pretty sure he’s lost weight. 

Is this what love is? Always being terrified on someone else’s behalf? Wanting to hold them and slay their demons for them? It fills Raphael with terror. And at the same time, Magnus’ words ring true. He would fight with his dying breath for those he loves. 

“Hey,” he says in greeting, pulling Simon into his arms for a tight hug just because he can. Simon melts into the hug, letting out a shaky breath. His hand goes to the back of Simon’s head, running through his hair. Before Raphael was unsure, but now he’s positive he’s planned the right thing for tonight. 

“I’ve missed you,” Simon whispers. “I’ve been to London and then Canada and then I stopped to visit a warlock in Alaska. But so far I haven’t found anything. But I’m glad to be back for now.”

“Me too.” Raphael pulls back enough in order to touch Simon’s cheek and tilt his face down. And then they’re kissing. Something inside Raphael’s chest clicks into place as their lips meet. It’s the best sensation, like he’s drowning, but somehow Simon is giving him the ability to keep breathing. 

When they pull apart, Raphael’s thumb caresses Simon’s cheek which has thankfully gotten a little bit of color from their kiss. “Can I take care of you tonight?”

Simon sucks in a sharp breath that he lets out slowly. Then he nods his head. “Yes, Daddy,” he breathes, filling Raphael’s chest with warmth and affection. Every time Simon says that it’s just as exciting as the first time. “I’d like that.”

“Then come here,” Raphael whispers back, pulling Simon into another kiss. He lets himself get swept away in the feeling of their lips caressing. Simon takes every single thing Raphael wants to give him. He’s so beautiful and Raphael’s chest  _ aches _ with how much he wants to take care of Simon, to make sure he’s well and okay. 

When Simon opens his lips, Raphael is right there, sliding his tongue against Simon’s. Simon’s like putty in his hands and Raphael is content to stand here, trading soft kisses all night. But he has other things planned. 

“Have you ever played with ropes before?”

Simon pulls back, his cheeks brightening even more still, his eyes dilating just from Raphael’s question. “Yeah,” he says breathlessly. “Yeah, and I like them. You gonna tie me up, Daddy?”

Raphael smirks. “I think I will. Strip down to your boxers for me, Simon.”

Raphael turns to his closet, pulling out the ropes he’d bought. He runs his fingers over them, smiling at their softness. He has a feeling it’ll feel nice against Simon’s skin. The articles and videos he’d watched told him this was a common way for people to relax, feeling the ropes around their arms and their chest. He’s excited to try it out for Simon, knowing it’ll be  _ his _ ropes and  _ his _ marks against Simon’s skin. Raphael’s not sure when he became so possessive over Simon but he likes knowing Simon is  _ his _ . 

When he turns around, Simon is standing there in nothing but his boxers, his eyes wide and doe like. Raphael’s stomach flutters, knowing just how  _ doe _ like they really are. Raphael sets the ropes onto the bed before stepping in front of Simon. His fingertips run over Simon’s skin, making the warlock shiver. His skin breaks out into goosebumps at the simple touch and Raphael finds himself fascinated, wondering what other responses he could pull from Simon. 

“I’m going to tie your arms behind your back,” Raphael tells him simply. “And I’d like to cover your chest in a simple harness. Does that sound okay?”

“Yes,” Simon hisses out. “I want that.”

Raphael takes the red rope and unties it fully. He steps to Simon’s front, carefully starting the knot he’s memorized. It’s intimate. They’re practically nose to nose as Raphael weaves the rope around Simon’s torso, his hands sliding over Simon’s skin over and over. Under Simon’s arm, around his chest, over his shoulder, behind his back. 

Last time Raphael had been in Simon’s space like this, he’d gotten Simon to squirm and moan and pant. This time Simon’s eyes turn glassy as he relaxes into the ropes. His breathing evens out, his shoulders fall away from his ears, and his bottom lip goes between his teeth. Simon is so beautiful in his submission and Raphael’s finding himself unable to get enough. 

With the next length of rope, Raphael ties Simon’s hand behind the back of his neck. He has Simon lace his fingers together before tying them, making sure there’s enough slack to keep his ligaments safe. 

“Perfect,” Raphael whispers. He comes back to Simon’s front, taking him in. “You’re like-” he stops to swallow. “You’re like a piece of art.”

Simon’s lips curl up but he doesn’t answer, already too relaxed to sass back. Raphael pulls him forward before sitting back into his chair. He helps Simon kneel between his feet. Simon’s eyes shut, contentment plain on his face. 

After taking a moment just to look at Simon, Raphael turns back to his book, only this time he begins to read out loud. It’s a book his mother had given him before dropping him off at the Institute all those years ago. A book of spanish poems. He opens up to where he’d left off and begins to quietly read out loud. 

As Raphael reads, he reaches down and buries one of his hands in Simon’s dark hair, caressing his scalp and running through the strands. Simon breathes out a deep sigh. He looks so much happier than when he’d first walked in. Like all the cares of the world have slowly melted away, leaving just the two of them in a little bubble. 

Raphael has to admit this is just as much for him as it is for Simon. He can feel his tension leaving as he reads, knowing Simon is here, is safe and sound, is enjoying himself. He feels a freshness wash over him with every passing minute, a lightness filling his chest. 

“How are your shoulders?” Raphael asks, setting the book down after about a half hour. 

“Sore,” Simon whispers, his eyes finally blinking open. “Sleepy, Daddy.”

“I know. How about we go to bed for the night? I’m hoping you’ll get a full night tonight.” Raphael carefully unties Simon’s hands, bringing his arms to the front and running his fingers over Simon’s shoulders, working out any knots the warlock might have. 

“I’ll have nightmares,” Simon says with a sad noise. “Every night.”

“Not tonight,” Raphael promises, kissing Simon’s cheek. He helps Simon to stand before undoing the chest harness and leaving his ropes on his chair. Simon’s more important than putting them into order right this second, they’ll wait til morning. 

Raphael helps Simon into bed. Simon makes a noise at Raphael not getting in right away and Raphael chuckles. “Let me get out of my clothes.”

Simon sticks out his bottom lip but otherwise doesn’t argue. By the time Raphael is getting into bed, Simon’s making the most adorable little snoring sounds. Raphael looks up at the trinket he’d gotten from Underhill which hangs on the headboard of his bedl, thankful for the magic it provides, taking care of Simon’s dreams. 

Raphael sinks into his sheets, putting one of his arms around Simon’s waist. Even in his sleep Simon gravitates towards him, shuffling over until his face is plastered against Raphael’s chest. He looks down with a small smile. He kisses Simon’s forehead before falling asleep himself filled with affection and contentment. 

~~~

“Raphael!”

Raphael sits up, pulling the dagger he keeps under his pillow free. He looks around blurrily, finding Magnus sitting in the doorway. Magnus stares at Simon who’s still asleep. 

“Oh shit. Raphael,” Magnus hisses. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize!”

Raphael puts his dagger down with a sigh. “What do you want?”

Magnus looks back at him, his eyes wide. “Underhill is here. He says he has an idea on how to take care of the demon after Simon’s most recent chat with him.”

Simon lets out a loud snore before opening his eyes and smiling up at Raphael. When he notices how tense Raphael looks, Simon sits up, green sparks ready at his fingertips. “Oh,” he gets out, his voice breaking from just waking up. “It’s just Magnus.” Simon yawns. He looks between Magnus and Raphael a few times before flopping back onto his pillow. “Let me guess, something big has happened?”

“Yep.”

“Plans to kill the demon?”

“Most definitely.”

“Bring. It. On.”

Magnus snorts. “Did you just quote the Emperor’s New Groove? By the Angel’s, you’re in love with a fucking dork.”

Raphael bristles. “He’s my dork.”

“Of course I am,” Simon whines, still covering his face with his arms. 

“Hurry up and get ready. I don’t wanna leave Underhill waiting.”

Raphael rubs his face, steeling himself for today. One way or anything he has a feeling everything’s about to change. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday :D Here's an extra update for you all <3 I figured since next week is Shiva's birthday week I'd give him the very last chapter this Tuesday (and this way there's less wait to see WHAT HAPPENS haha) I hope y'all enjoy :D

Simon looks out across the New York skyline, his arms wrapped around himself. Chaos. Complete and utter chaos is going on inside his chest. He wants to be ready. He  _ has _ to be ready. They wanted as long as they could but now that the demon’s begun terrorizing other Institutes around the world, they couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Are you ready?” Underhill asks, his voice firm but his eyes are soft. Simon looks away. 

“Yes.”

The plan is simple. Well, simple-ish. Step one will be the same as last time. There will be one Shadowhunter, one warlock, one Seelie, one werewolf, and one vampire. Using the power of the pentagram that Underhil has drawn, he will be able to summon the demon to this location. Then everyone involved, all at once, will shed blood, causing the pentagram to hold the demon and put it to sleep. 

That unfortunately is the easy part. 

Once the demon is asleep, it will be Simon’s part of the plan. Using the powers he shares with his parent, he will enter the demon’s dreamscape. That’s where the demon will be most vulnerable and where Simon will kill them. 

“Don’t worry,” Magnus says, coming to Simon’s side and squeezing his shoulder. “You’re not going in there alone.”

Simon blinks. “Yes, I am?”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Like I’d let you go in there all by yourself. I’m coming with you.”

“Like hell,” Raphael pipes in, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Raphael. I have to do this just as much as Simon does. It’s our parents who’re to blame. It’s poetic, that their children are the ones to take them down.”

“No. Magnus this isn’t one of your stupid stunts to prove yourself-“

“You’re right,” Magnus cuts him off, turning away from Simon to face Raphael fully. They grip each other’s wrist, a gesture they haven’t given up despite their runes being gone. “This isn’t something I’m doing to prove myself. I need to finally finish what my father started.” There’s a moment where they just look at each other, a silent understanding passing before Magnus smiles. “Plus I need to make sure your boyfriend makes it out of there safe.”

Raphael snorts before turning to Simon and pulling him into his arms. Simon grips the back of Raphael’s jacket, holding on until his knuckles ache. He doesn’t wanna let go. 

“You’ll be okay,” Raphael says, his voice steady but thick. “You’ll be fine, Simon. You’ll fight your way back.” 

“I will,” he whispers back, making it his pledge. 

“And take care of my parabatai.” 

Simon pulls back, wiping at his eyes as he gets himself under control. “We’ll take care of each other. We’ll both be fighting our way back.”

Just then, Alec makes his way over to them looking like a man on a mission. Magnus’ eyes light up before widening as Alec doesn’t stop. He gets right into Magnus’ space, his hands going around Magnus’ jacket lapels before yanking him into a fierce kiss. 

Simon’s cheeks heat up as he looks away, feeling like an intruder on their moment. He hears Alec hiss out. “I wanted to give you something to fight for. You go in there and take care of your shit and then you make it back so we can finally do all the things you’ve been telling me over texts. Okay?”

Magnus nods dumbly, his cheeks bright red. “Okay,” he stutters out. 

Alec kisses him one last time. “Okay.” And then he’s moving over to the pentagram, finding his spot. 

Simon lets out a shaky breath, unsurprised when a puff of grey forms around his mouth. He squeezes Raphael’s hands one more time before nodding for Raphael and Magnus to take their place. Simon will be taking Magnus with him but Raphael will be here, tethering Magnus the same way he once tethered Simon.

Simon turns towards the group here, taking a moment to look at each and every one. If he fails his part of the mission, he knows without a doubt everyone here will die. He  _ won’t _ let that happen. 

Underhill is at the head, the warlock taking on the spell. He’ll be using his magic, the power of the pentagram, and everyone’s combined blood to pull this off. 

To Underhill’s left is Simon’s best friend, Clary. His heart does a little stutter as their eyes meet. She winks at him and it fills him with a little extra strength. Next to her is Jace, a Seelie knight and another person Simon loves and cares for. He will do  _ everything  _ in his power to make sure they leave this place untouched. 

Next to Jace is Alec who’s brow is wrinkled, his eyes narrowed with determination. 

Simon turns back around, watching as the final piece to the puzzle steps between Magnus and Raphael. 

Simon’s never really spoke to the man Magnus and Raphael both see as their father, the one who took them in when they were kids. But standing here now, Simon can see he’s a good man who loves his boys. Gods, he really hopes this works out so they can sit down and get to know each other. 

Ragnor takes a moment to hug them both. “You don’t have to do this,” Magnus says, his voice breaking. “We could have someone else take your place.”

Ragnor shakes his head, his hand going to the side of Magnus’ face. “No. It’s my job as your dad to be by your side through all of this. I have your backs no matter what.”

Ragnor pulls away. “I love you boys. I'll see you on the other side, alright? And when this whole thing is done I expect a family dinner where I meet these men you’ve been trying to hide from me.”

That makes all three of them chuckle, the moment a tiny less tense than before. Ragnor moves into place at his point, the pentagram now complete. Simon takes a deep breath a Underhill begins the spell. 

Magnus and Raphael lie down, their hands clasped together, their eyes closed. Simon doesn’t go to them, not yet, needing to watch this part. Underhill waves his hands and begins to chant, the pentagram on the ground lighting up with bright yellow light. 

The light grows brighter and brighter until Simon has to close his eyes. When he opens them again, the demon is there, standing in the middle of the pentagram. Their eyes widen as they look around, freezing when they lock with Simon’s. Then, slowly, a smile curls their lips up. 

“Now,” Underhill barks out. The demon’s eyes snap away before it’s letting out a blood curdling scream. 

All at once, everyone around the pentagram cuts their palm, letting blood drip onto the pentagram. The yellow brightens once again before turning a dark red. Between one blink and another, the demon is falling to the ground, completely still. 

“It’s your turn, Simon. Be as quick as you can.”

Simon kneels beside Magnus, taking his other hand. He closes his eyes and lets his magic out, pushing his way into the demon’s dreamscape, tugging Magnus along with him. 

There’s a moment of vertigo where the world seems to tip sideways. Simon’s vision goes blurry and his head goes light. He breathes in through his nose as his feet suddenly land on solid ground. 

“Where are we?” Magnus asks, looking around, his angel blade ready at his side. 

The place looks the same as Simon remembers it from his own dreams, a large castle with long stone hallways. There’s a pull deep in his belly and Simon follows it, his and Magnus’ steps echoing through the seemingly empty castle. 

“This is the demon’s dreamscape,” Simon says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “They’ve brought me here before, to ask me to join them.”

“Touching,” Magnus deadpans. 

“Something like that.”

There’s an opening to their left and Simon carefully peeks around the edge. He still, taking in the sight before him.    
  
“What?” Magnus starts only to freeze, his eyes widening. 

A man sits hunched in the corner, his knees pulled up tight to his chest. He’s murmuring to himself, rocking back and forth. The light catches just right and Simon realizes the man is clutching a knife. Slowly, the man stands, making his way over to the bed across from him where a woman sleeps on, not knowing the danger she’s in. 

“Magnus,” Simon tries but Magnus is transfixed. This memory is _for_ _him_ , Simon realizes with a start. So he does the only thing he can think of, he _shoves_ Magnus away from the door and away from this memory. 

Magnus gasps, catching himself on the wall, his eyes losing their glazed look. “Fuck,” he murmurs, his hand going to his hair. There’s a wetness to his eyes that Simon pointedly ignores. 

“We should keep going,” Simon says gently. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

The next doorway has  _ Simon _ freezing as he takes in the scene. This time they’re stood in a basement, watching a human looking figure get strapped to a table, their hands and feet restrained.    
  
“Don’t do this,” the human cries out, lashing against their bindings. 

Simon tries to look away, tries to lash his magic out just as hard as the human, tries his fucking damnest to  _ move _ . But he can’t. Another person steps into the room, a wide, sinister smile on their face and Simon just  _ knows _ that it’s his demonic parent. It further proves to him how evil they are, how they’re capable of such pain and suffering all the while  _ smiling _ through it. 

Except, to Simon’s horror, when the person turns and faces him, it’s  _ Simon’s _ face smiling back at him. 

Simon gasps as he hits the floor, his eyes blinking the fog away. “Thanks,” he says, taking Magnus’ outstretched hand. 

“How many more of these fucking memories are they gonna put us through?”

Simon rubs at his eyes. “I don’t know,” he says truthfully, dread filling his chest. 

As they continue to walk, movement catches his eyes. He looks up, watching as dark, red liquid begins to bubble up from the top of the walls, flowing down the sides like blood. They pick up their steps, trying to outrun it but it’s too fast. Blood laps at their boots as they take off at a sprint. Simon glances behind his shoulder only to cry out as a  _ wave _ of blood rises up, chasing them down, corralling them the way the demon no doubt wants them to go. 

Simon reaches out, gripping Magnus’ hand as the blood overtakes them, making them lose their footing as they’re swept away. Simon gags as the taste of blood hits his tongue, his nose and lungs burning. He’s not sure how long they float in the sea of blood before they’re spit out onto dry land. 

Simon turns onto his hands and knees, dry heaving the taste away, finally able to breathe again. He looks around, his stomach sinking at what he finds. 

“Asmodeus?” he whispers, carefully getting back up to his feet. Not unlike the picture the demon had showed them earlier, there is Asmodeus, in the corner with his knees up to his chest. 

“Get away from me,” Asmodeus hisses out, his eyes bloodshot as he looks up at Simon with distrust. “No more games, no more. Please.”

“Dad?” Magnus steps up beside Simon. “Dad, it’s me. It’s Magnus.”

Asmodeus shakes his head, his body shaking with tremors. “No. It’s just them messing with me again. This time you’ll blow up. Or the demon will light you on fire. Or something equally awful. I’m so tired,” Asmodeus says, his voice breaking as he leans his forehead against his knee. “No more. No more. Please, no more.”

Magnus squats down. “It’s really me, Dad. Simon and I are here to kill the demon.”

Asmodeus looks up over his knee, his eyes watering. “You can’t,” he whispers brokenly. “It’s already too late.”

Simon’s about to ask what he means when the room goes cold. His heart picks up speed as he turns around, finding the demon standing there, a smug look on its leathery face. 

“I’m so glad you decided to join me, son. I won’t say I wasn’t surprised by the pentagram but we both know that’ll only hold for so long before its power begins to burn each and every one of your friends to a crisp.” The demon tilts their head. “Tik tok, tik tok.”

“Simon,” Magnus murmurs under his breath but Simon only has eyes for the demon, unable to look away. 

“I’ll never be on your side. I will  _ never _ join you.”

“The longer you’re in here arguing, the more at risk your friends are. Did you even have a plan, Simon? You were gonna barge in here and what? Demand I stop? Kill me?” The demon snorts as they shake their head. “You should know by now that there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop me. Which means you can either join me, or I’ll be forced to kill my own son and I really don’t wanna do that, Simon.”

In his frustration, Simon flashes his magic, bringing it to his chest and throwing it out towards the demon. The demon smiles as they wave their hand, the ball of bright green drifting to the side. Simon screams, throwing his magic again, this time the ball of magic black with his anger and frustration and again, the demon bats it away like it’s nothing despite Simon  _ knowing _ if it was anyone else they’d have burned right up. 

Simon falls to his knees. His hands go to his face as tears spring to his eyes. “I don’t want to join you,” he confesses, his voice breaking. “But I will.”

“Simon, no.”

“If this is the only way to keep the others safe, I’ll do it.”

The demon gets a triumphant look on their face. They reach down, holding out their long, clawed hands to Simon. Simon begins to reach out, saying a silent prayer for the angels to look out for Raphael and the others, when Asmodeus stands up. 

“There’s another way,” he says. “If you don’t have a vessel you’ll be lost in limbo forever.” Asmodeus grabs Magnus’ angel blade. 

“No!” the demon cries out, their eyes widening. They rush towards Asmodeus but Simon is faster, wrapping his arms around the demon and holding them tight. “No!”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to do the right thing, Magnus,” Asmodeus says before he plunges the angel blade into his own chest. 

The demon screams, the sound mixing with Magnus’ own mournful cry. The walls around them all begin to shatter and break, falling in giant heaps around them. The floor below their feet splinters and cracks, the entire place shaking. The demon begins to glow bright white. It grows brighter and brighter, their body going hotter and hotter to the point that Simon has to leap away and shield his eyes. 

A high pitched noise fills Simon’s ears and after a moment, he can feel the warmth of blood dripping down the side of his face. Too overwhelmed to do anything, Simon screams. 

Bright light, falling walls, screams. It’s all Simon knows. And then suddenly it’s over. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, happy Tuesday <3  
> Thanks to everyone who stuck around each week, reading and commenting! You made this story so fun to tell <3 This is the very last chapter and I hope you all enjoy <3

There’s a blast before Raphael is sitting up, gasping for air. His heart pounds against his ribs as he looks around, trying to understand what just happened. The pentagram is ablaze, the demon’s body nothing more than a pile of ash in the middle. Everyone who was there is laying on the ground, like something has blown them back. Raphael’s eyes scan to his right, finding Magnus and Simon. 

Raphael is moving before he’s made the conscious decision, needing to make sure they’re okay. He can still feel Magnus, he  _ knows _ he’s alive but he needs to see it for himself. Someone else rushes over and Raphael only spares them a glance, moving out of the way so Ragnor can check Magnus over as well. 

Raphael lifts Magnus’ shirt, drawing an Iratze rune on his side the moment he notices the blood coming from Magnus’ nose. 

“Check Simon,” Ragnor says, nudging Rapheal over further. 

Raphael scrambles to Simon’s side, his heart sinking when he notices blood coming from Simon’s nose and ears. What the fuck  _ happened _ in there? He only got vague feelings and sensation but none of that prepared him for this. 

“Move over,” Underhill murmurs, coming to Simon’s side. He flares his magic. “I only have a small amount left but I’ll do what I can.”

Raphael grabs Simon’s hand, giving what little support and strength he can. He feels lost, powerless. He wants to help, wants to do something,  _ anything _ for Simon but all he can do is watch and wait. 

Raphael watches with held breath as Underhill’s magic runs over Simon’s body. He pulls it back, the magic having run dry. They wait a moment. And then another. 

Tears threaten to fall from Raphael’s eyes, the two most important people in his lives sit still on the ground before him. He squeezes Simon’s hand, bringing it up to rest against his forehead. “Please,” he whispers. 

Just as Raphael is preparing to stand and look away, the hand in his own squeezes back. All of the breath leaves Raphael’s lungs as he opens his eyes, finding familiar brown ones looking back. Without thinking or second guessing, Raphael lets himself fall against Simon’s chest. His hand reaches out, finding the center of Magnus’ chest, needing to feel the beat beneath his palm and the rise and fall of Magnus’ breath. They’re okay. They’re alive and they’re here and they’re okay. 

Magnus’ hand finds his own, holding on so tight his knuckles turn white and Alec mirrors Raphael’s position against Magnus’. They all lay in a heap, needing this moment just to breathe. 

“Is everyone okay?” Simon croaks out.

“You weren’t breathing just a moment ago and already you’re asking if anyone was hurt?”

Raphael feels Simon shrug beneath him and he can’t help the sound that leaves his throat, something between a sob and a laugh. It’s a broken noise, one made out of desperate relief. Raphael doesn’t stop the tears from falling now, too overwhelmed from such a close call. He can feel Magnus through the bond, can feel his anguish and relief mixed together. 

Raphael will demand to know what happened in there. They will have to clean up this rooftop and get the vampire inside before the sun rises. They’ll have to talk everything out, no doubt facing trauma and PTSD from what happened tonight. Raphael is positive he’ll be sleeping in Magnus’ room tonight no matter what the werewolf says. 

But those things can wait a little longer. Because right now all he can do is breathe deep breathes through his nose as he holds on to Simon and Magnus for dear life. Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? That life is dear and worth holding on to. 

_ Six Months Later _

Raphael rolls onto his side, looking down at Simon with a smile. He runs his finger over Simon’s cheek, watching as the warlock leans into it, seeking out Raphael’s touch even in his sleep. The sun beats down against his back and his toes twitch where they’re buried in the silky, white sand. 

This is the first time they’ve been able to leave the Institute, finally getting away for a break. It’s been a rough six months. Paperwork. So. Much. Paperwork. Raphael’s lips tick up slightly just thinking about the amount of bitching Magnus did, the two of them huddled in the library filling everything out together. 

To say the Clave wasn’t impressed that Cat hadn’t kept them informed is an understatement. Thankfully their self preservation ran higher than their need to micromanage and decided that because the demon was lost in limbo, they wouldn’t punish any of them. But they’re also the reason Raphael and Magnus haven’t left the Institute in so long. They stationed a stuck up Clave envoy, keeping a hawkeye on everything. The moment he went back to Idris was the moment Simon portaled them all here, to a secluded Island just for the four of them to enjoy. 

Raphael looks over and smiles, seeing Alec and Magnus come out of their beachside house and making their way to the beach, their hands locked together as they walk. Alec leans down and kisses the side of Magnus’ head and Raphael can feel the love and unadulterated joy in his parabatai. It’s what Magnus deserves. It’s what they all deserve. 

When Raphael had finally been told what happened inside that dreamscape he couldn’t stop himself from pulling Simon and Magnus against him. That night, Simon had conjured a giant bed into Raphael’s room and they’d all slept together in a messy pile of limbs, needing to be close. Magnus had mourned his father, someone who’d found redemption in his last breath. Raphael is glad Magnus got closure, able to close the door on that chapter of his past. 

Simon and Magnus still wake screaming with nightmares. Raphael wants to be there for both of them but he’s come to an understanding with the werewolf. Alec knows it’s no small thing for Raphael to trust him with Magnus’ wellbeing, but Raphael has a feeling Alec won’t take it for granted. He knows his parabatai is taken care of the same way Simon is. 

Raphael leans down, kissing Simon’s nose just to see him wrinkle it. He’s still overcome with the amount of love he feels for this man. On paper they shouldn’t fit, they’re opposite. One a Shadowhunter, one a Warlock. Raphael had never felt romantic love like this before while Simon loves so easily, falling so hard so fast. And yet they somehow fit together. 

Somedays Raphael thinks about their future. Thinks about the way Simon will lose him. He will mourn and hurt and ache. But then he’ll open his heart again and give just as much as he’s given to Raphael to someone else. Raphael’s glad for that faceless future person. They’ll get to see the brightness that Raphael sees. Hopefully they’ll help Simon through the parts of life that Raphael won’t be able to. He feels incredibly lucky, knowing someone who loves so openly and so  _ deeply  _ had found a little slice of their heart just for Raphael amongst all the other loves he’s had. 

“Oh,” Simon breathes, his eyes fluttering open, his lashes fanning across his cheeks. “Am I dead? Because I’m positive you’re an angel.”

Raphael smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. He lets out a warm chuckle before ducking down and kissing Simon’s lips. Simon’s hands come up, holding his face steady as they trade barely there kisses, content to keep things slow and gentle, the sound of the cresting waves sounding around them. 

“You’re the angel,” Raphael says as they pull back, dotting Simon's cheeks with extra kisses, just because he can. “Or maybe you’re a demon. Have you put a spell on me?”

Now it’s Simon’s turn to snort. He still struggles with his heritage but everyday Raphael can tell he’s starting to believe the words Raphael whispers into his skin when it’s just the two of them. “I don’t need magic to make you love me. It’s obviously my dashing good looks and charming personality.”

“Sure,” Raphael says, turning so he’s on his back reclining in the chair they’re sharing, pulling Simon to cuddle against his chest. “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” Magnus says, coming to sit in a chair right next to theirs, pulling Alec down with him, both of them in nothing but their swim trunks, the same as Raphael and Simon. “It was obviously Simon’s love of Raphael’s blades that really synched this relationship.”

“Meet cute destined for future storybooks,” Alec adds, his tone deadpan and dry. 

That sets Raphael off. He sits up on his elbow, pointing a finger at Alec as he defends himself. It’s a familiar argument at this point, always going around and around in circles. A warmth spreads through him that has nothing to do with the sun shining down on them. 

He’ll take being Simon’s pain in the ass any day because despite the warlock bringing confusion and complications to his life, he also brought Raphael love. A love that’s worth complications. 


End file.
